there is someone in my mirror,
someone i know well.
its bones are cracked
but it feels no pain.
its lips are black
and eyes are gray.
every now and then
it tries to escape,
it breaks the glass
and cuts its face.
and when we met
it had new scars,
that never hurt,
and never bled.
it counts my words
and then goes mad,
if my hairs are not
perfect on my head.
it tells me where
it tells me when,
and then goes mad
if i don't obey.
it wakes me up
to check the door,
and then goes mad
if it's locked once.
it moans and cries
if i knock three times,
instead of four
which is fine.
it whispers softly
when i walk,
to make sure
my steps are all
carefully counted
four.

Doctor, Doctor
I've trouble with my eyes

Then take these blue pills,
That's what I advise

Oh Doctor, Doctor
My bones are all sore

White pills I prescribe
They'll hurt you no more

But Doctor, Doctor
My heartbeat is waning

Take red pills for that
You'll soon be regaining

Please Doctor, please
My mind fades away

For that I have gray pills
You'll be sharper today

Its quite shocking Doctor,
My ***** is murky

Take these yellow pills
They'll clear it by Thursday

I mope around Doctor,
My mood's really flat

These rose colored pills
Will take care of that

You must help me Doctor,
In bed I'm a flop

Then try these long capsules
They'll liven things up

Tell me please Doctor,
What's inside these pills?

Why medicine, of course,
To cure all your ills

Is it fear, or is it surprise
When you find yourself staring into mortality's eyes ?
All invincibility has gone
Repercussions to every action
Sheer terror! No, not me! Not yet!
None of my ambitions​ met
I have never had wealth, rubies or pearls​
Never made my mark upon the world
I really don't care about power or money
Just let me get out what's inside of me
It's not that I am scared of death
Just ashamed of what I haven't done yet
When you peer over the edge of the cliff
And find you're looking into the abyss
Do you see your fears dispelled
Or do you find yourself repelled
By your ruined hopes, dreams even your name
A walking Holocaust of shame
" I could have been, I should have done ?"
If you do, your not alone. I too am one.

You paint me up with colors
That don’t speak to all my flaws
You airbrush bits of who I am
And look at me in awe

I am your prized possession
Your trophy and your muse
Within me rests your vanity
and things you cannot lose

I used to want a love like this
To shower me in praise
Your flattery is dreary now-
It lacks the warmth I crave

This love it leaves me empty
Like I’m only halfway living
How could you ever be my vessel
If you can’t touch my inner being?

If you can’t trace the patterns of my soul
To the creases in my brow
How could you love me one day
If you can’t truly love me now

See, all I ever wanted
Was someone who would say
“I see through all your brokenness
And still, I choose to stay”

"Dreams are foreign and uncomfortable. The common dreamworld never quite mimics life in its truest form."

I flew over snowy mountain peaks on my way to Amsterdam, dreaming of existing in my truest form. My layover in Reykjavik was only three hours long, & I was traveling alone. Three hours is just enough time to worry about getting lost & I pondered what it would be like to let go.

My trip would take me to Amsterdam, then London. I would find myself in Amsterdam again by day 10. I chose to ignore the loneliness by drinking a pint of Belgian beer in a bar that was much too small and enveloped in tobacco smoke.

On my way to the bathroom I spotted a cat prowling the floor like he was hunting for a bird. He was out of place, yet here he was in his truest form. Forever hunting for a bird that was nowhere to be found.

Unknowingness, turmoil.
Conundrum around.
Wrapped up in dilemmas.
Sinking. into mess all over.

Urge to know all happenings
Struggle to unwind each loop.
Choosing and then falling,
into pit. one at a time.

Tiring yourself. Again.
And again. And again.
With futile efforts dear.
Fruitlessly, knocking doors.

All these are not important...

It's okay to not know.
You're not here.
To know each **** thing.
Let the things happen.
Let the stones be unturned.
It's good to taste,
the dilemmas. sometimes.