You are someone I can trust,
You are someone I can be comfortable with,
You are someone I can tell anything to,
You are someone I'm glad to be with;

I am someone who appreciates you,
I am someone who doesn't care what anyone thinks about us,
I am someone that will do anything for you,
I am someone who is proud of us;

We are people who were meant to be,
We are people who are in love with each other,
We are people who love each other's touch,
We are people who cannot stand to be without each other;

I am in love with my girlfriend...
And everything about her,
And what she does...

For me it never had a starting point or an ending point

I just knew it had to be given
You were the chosen

I showed it by never forgetting where we were going

Goals set, in midnight conversations, early morning calls, late night walks

Never asked you to be loyal
Always talked about keeping it real
It’s like the scene never ended and you kept the reel
Never needed lights to show the actions
No amount of cameras could capture the excellence of your presence
You never left even when you were given the evidence

To you my loyalty has no expiration
Your heart is it’s intended destination

You Fill Me With Breath              11/11/17

You fill me with breath and you take it away.
I still can’t believe how you opened my heart in a way that awakened my very soul.
In the beginning, it was not about romancing each other. I thought of you as a friend, and possible lover.
But the day came that I looked into your eyes, and I knew, the feelings I had were more than I expected, or wanted. It’s true.

We’d crossed the line of keeping it simple. Being together was what we craved.
As we touched, we felt a connection so deep that our hearts were enslaved.
Like paint mixing and swirling... it's beauty is not fully known until the picture is finished.
The things we experienced and brought us together were something we cherished.

When I reflect on how I feel at your touch, I close my eyes because the though of "us" is too much.
Pleasure takes over until I’m no longer aware.
Your fingers trace over my skin, igniting the desire burning there.
Fulfillment is inevitable, and we are one without restraint.
I feel your warm breath on mine...and it becomes clear that;

You fill me with breath and you take it away.


Randy McPeek

If I tell you that I want to die
Will you listen then?
What if I say that I'm just sad
And could really use a friend
Must I self-depreciate
To get your ****** attention
Pretend that it's myself I hate
To spark your intervention
I am mostly happy
But still, I'm sometimes sad
Apparently not good enough
At dwelling on the bad

i spent months and months asking myself
why was i not enough for you

was i not thin enough?
was i not pretty enough?
did you want me to change my hair color?
did i laugh too  much?
was my voice too annoying?
were my thighs too big?
was i not smart enough?
was i not domestic enough?
was i not wild enough?
did i not drink enough?
did i not smoke enough?
was i not careless enough?

395 days of me waking up each morning
and having these questions flood my brain
until i fell into bed and everything went black
only when my eyes shut for a few hours
would these questions stop

it has been 395 days of pure hell inside my brain
but i am learning now that it is not that i was not enough
i was too much

i gave you too much love
too much laughter
too much adventure
too much of everything you wanted
that you took complete advantage of

i will be okay

i hope you're happy where ever you are now

Time to die
Into the black
Going forward
No turning back

Shattered bones
Streams of red
we the sacrificed
We're blindly led

I had no religion
I had no flag
I had no poppies
In my body bag

Time to die
Into the black
No more going forward
I cannot turn back

Obituary in tutorials
Named on memorials
There's no glory in war
Just death.