I play
in another dimension.

Color trailing garden vines
climbing around my mind.

There all things are possible,
every completely improbable
conception of my wild imagination.

The Anger within me is boiling
The situation seems out of control
The fight or flight responses
Is as primal as it can be.
The amygdala, kicks in
And takes over for me.

But why blame it on primal
Cause religion teaches another
Created by the Father
Born of free will are we.
The choice of being noble
Or primal is in my capacity

So I decide to test my confusion
And see who lives inside of me
A person of free will or 
A carnal nature of me.

So when I encounter situations
Which would otherwise anger me
I'd like to bellow in rage
I'd like to make believe
Here my animal is taking over
I can feel his grip over me
The struggle within me is stronger
The ground I'm loosing steadily

I laugh! Where are you free will?
See whose got me now in his grip
And then in the flash of the moment
I see the irony!

Suddenly as if the scene's changed
The reactor becomes the actor
Letting go of a long sigh
The drama comes to a halt.
For in that moment, free will kicked in
My freedom I realized

Yes we are carnal beings
And it's not surprising
Because animals behave just as we
But we are armed with an arsenal
To be infinitesimally good
To be heavenly

If only we listen to our inner wealth
Telling us to above all rise
When we give vent to our free will.
It's that moment to decide.

Anger is worst of the lot of monsters
But alone he's usually not.
He has a lot of companions
His minions are all about.

This matter is not simple
Don't get bogged down in psychiatry
Practice makes one perfect
Tackle your fears and threats
Handle each one steadily
Before long you'll know the signs
Arm yourself with humility
His minions will try wreak havoc
And wound your ability

So stop the amygdala from taking over
Ask yourself is it worth?
What is the worse that could happen
if things didn't go your way.
The answer will be astonishing
When you've discovered your treasure
You'll find the demon's flown
What a relief it will be
You'll feel blessed abundantly

Got caught up in this thing called bliss
Trapped inside this euphoria
When indulgence was in my grip
Light and Dark is on its fast forward phase
When all senses comes back to you
You'll figure out that something's missing
Then you'll realize what you willingly gave
Just for the sake of fun
And when the source is out
It won't recognize your being
What's left of you is all you had
The feeling of some part of you is empty
Indulged by some to taste the pleasure
After you found out you lost
There's the regret creeping inside you
And you.....can never take it back
It was never meant to be given back
Presence of loneliness will slowly haunts you
Denying will only lead to failure
Faking it won't even save you
Longing will linger


So there you go......alone.......


Smiling for the better times,
And sobbing after being left behind

Don't make me laugh
Your not in love with me
Let me tell you why
It's just your fantasy

Cause this is not love
You surely are mistaken
You've never felt love 
or anything close to it
Cause you never had 
love to under stand
You were too busy with pleasing
Standing up to expectations
Trying to fit a larger than life figure
Chasing dreams that were impossible
You drove yourself harder 
Hoping that somehow you'd make up for the affection you did not receive.
Your running on empty 
And empty is all you can give.

Love is not keeping yourself bottled
And taking flight for the smallest threat.
To your grandiosity.
Love is not sending cryptic clues
Trying to gauge responses
Love is not in hiding
But in making itself felt
Love's presence is silent
Yet the warmth radiates.

So I have nothing to expect from you.
Your tethering is not astonishing
I can understand the see-saw you feel inside.
An emotional wave you fear to ride.

So it's best we let bygones be what they are meant to be.
Don't start the process all over.
Try not to kindle the spark
Cause the fires have blown over.
I've healed myself, of the emptiness you've left behind.
I am not turning back this time.
My resolve is deep,  my mind made up.
I have promises made to myself.
To live a full life and always be content.

So, heads up I walk into my future
Closing the door of my past.
Letting go of the riddle of a relationship
And leaving the hurt behind.
You are now a closed chapter.
The book I could not complete.

Again and again
Those same words you promised
you wouldn ' t say
Even when it causes us both pain
And take away laughter from the
way we play
This must be a boomerang I dare
say .

The bet is made and the cards laid
The path we must here create
The path to that place of bliss we ' ve
prayed
And away from the destination we
dread
Though we momentarily strayed
Back to the right track we ' ve
always steered.

Look with your minds eyes
And you will see the beauty of these
fields
Where true love , in wait, lies
Always ready and handy with his
shield
To fence us from tears and sties
From all our wrongs in words and
deeds.

We may ail but love always heals
Let it hurt a little
For it is a lot better than all lost