At nights when I can’t utter
a word from my ugly mouth

My eyes pour out the words,
and I make a wish to be yellow

One cut, two cut, three cut, four.
Cry for a while then cut some more.
Open cut, closed cut, cut scabbed over.
Drink away the pain, then cut again sober.
Old cut, new cut, cut dripping blood.
Drag the blade across and watch as it floods.
Cut on my wrist, cut on my thigh.
wait 'til everyone's asleep,
then cut in the night.
Small cut, big cut, cut too deep.
Sit and watch as it continues to bleed.
Hi cut, bye cut, it keeps bleeding out.
see you later cut. It's all over now.

how does it feel to die?
slit your wrists and bleed through life.
dazed in this twilight
of overwhelming emotions.
you get high off this excitement,
as the pain fades out
and the blood drains through.
this chaos healed,
with another scar for you.
while in a pool of blood,
you dream of life
and the rage inside,
while waiting for your last bit of life.
nearing its end,
you paint these blood stained walls
just to find yourself faded out completely.
to be just another one
of those blood stained dolls.

The scars that you see
They were all made by me
And my tears have turned red
With the blood that I’ve shed
People think I’m lost to the madness
But really I’m just cloaked in sadness
I could use a rope or i could use a knife
Looking back on my whole life
I see the pain and i see the hurt
I feel my heart about to burst
The blood will flow
Why can’t they see
That all my life
I’ve been afraid of
……..
Me

If my fate is to love you
From a distance
Then I'll burn for you
Like a star in your night sky
Bright, steady, reliable
Unwavering
Until the end of time.

this pain in my chest
pulls me under
and all at once
i am a paper boat
lost in a starless sea,
drowning in the memory
of what we had.
i may not know
what lies ahead
the course uncertain,
the waters black
but as i lay here alone
i realise,
perhaps i am not
so difficult to love
perhaps others
are simply afraid

and that's okay too.