I miss you.
I think of you
When I go outside
When I go to school
When I see anything
Everything
Reminds me of you
But I sit here,
And you sit there
And I know it'll be forever
Till I hold you again.

-r.y.s

"I ******* hate myself."
"Constantly there's a voice telling me: you're not skinny enough."
"I want to be skinnier."

Collarbones, jutting out,
protruding spines,
hipbones that could cut diamonds.

Purposeful, not biological.
Young girls, skipping meals
to be considered "beautiful,"
but at what cost?

My stomach turns as I scroll.
To think,
one year ago,
that was me.

Starving is not beautiful.
Purging is not beautiful.
Loving yourself is.

Make-up won't make you pretty,
a smile will.

Thank you

For the body that has defined, gleaming muscles
So lined and lean, like fire and rope all twisted into you

Thank you

For the hair that it constantly slicked back into that perpetual wave
The sideburns that come down to your chin and turn into stubble

Thank you

For the awesome acting
And insane explosions you can walk away from unharmed

Thank you

For the face that could make angels weep
That holds so much beauty that I crumble inside

Thank you

For the accent that takes on a lilt from Britain when you aren't on set
A hint of something else enriching the tone

Thank you

For being 40 something
Because otherwise you wouldn't be safe from me

Thank you

For being Hugh Jackman

I know what you saw when you were seven,
You watched your parents get murdered and go to heaven.
I know what they said about you,
But you know that all of it wasn't true.
You were my best friend.
I loved you until the very end.
you were just 14, confused and all alone.
after I left, we just talked by phone.
After your parents died, you were made fun of, and full of scars.
They didn't know it would go that far.
If I didn't move, If I had stayed,
would you have handled it a different way?
Would you have taken your own life?
instead of yours I wish it was mine.
I remember all our secrets, holding hands
we had a future, we had so many plans.
But now you will be loved, and never forgotten
just because of the killer and those bullies so rotten.
Are you up there with your mom and dad?
I promise to never forget the strong life you had.
I wish I could see you, but you aren't in hell
so after I die we will have no story to tell.
I won't be at your service
"a funeral is for the living, not the dead."
a quote from your favorite movie you said.
Ill miss you, you are forever in my heart
and your suicide has torn me apart.