Some nights music has to be turned up
at the highest volume
so that my thoughts
do not **** me in my sleep

His warm smile kisses my deepest pain
While I watched my own sadness **** the sunset in his eyes
The monsters in my head
Are the same monsters who swallowed his happiness
Our fire was no longer beautiful, but dim
It eventually burnt out,
and turned everything darker than
the night
He stopped telling me I was lovely;
And I stopped feeling safe in his embrace
My desire to be adored
Left us lost and broken
...

You should know by now that everyone see’s
what they want to see
Yeah, their own version of a fantasy

it’s so twisted, and conflicted
it’s so manic n’ sadistic
cause they’ll color you with love
then they'll color you with hate
you better run right now
cause time is run'n late
Oh, and girl --
You’ve met him a million times
Oh yeah,  you've memorized all his lines
cause, it’s a pattern that you know
called the one trick pony show

He likes his women dressed like dolls
(when he decides to finally call)
he rates you on a scale from one to ten
You say -- not this *&%# again!
before you hang up on the phone
you scream, "You're so creepy, and you're lame"
Whoops - I just forgot your name

you'd  end up being the bi*ch or,
you could end up being the saint
or, maybe it's so **** twisted
they really got so addicted
to all the pain, and the pleasure
(you were his little treasure)
that he so sadistically inflicted
Paint you, black —
Paint you, blue —

Yeah, paint you until he’s through

Skeletal fingers naked of leaves
stretching empty promises
into white skies
I take breaths
between the lines of your garbled
I love yous
whispered into the hollow of
my neck and
all I feel
are broken twigs
against an innocent back

Blurred city lights
palms pressing against fogged
window panes
wishing you were here
the hills and
hollows and
hidden valleys
of my body
calling out into an empty
lonely
night

Water scalding scarlet
running burned fingers over
******* and
belly and
thighs
coaxing old singing love from
white railroad tracks etched through
crystal critical
veins
skid marks from the
love you
left me
with