My walls are built so high around my fragile heart but
You slowly have been tearing them down
And I want to trust you
And I want to let you in
But you have to prove to me you're worth it
Or else i'm going to sit here just dying inside
Wanting to talk to you
And laugh with you
And kiss you
Because you set me on fire,
And i'm a pyromaniac.

I can't imagine people
going through their whole lives
not being able to be who they are.
Whoever that may be.
Loud, or gay or transgender or flamboyant or
artistic or scientific or something that can't even be
defined by a single word.
Be who you are,
no matter the consequences.

All I do is...
  Detect the lies
  Watch as time flies
  Witness demise
What is this?

  Feel all the pain
  See the world in vain
  Melt in disdain
Why is this?

  
  Just breath keep hope
  That life is *****
  Up and we cope
How is this?

Life on and on
Dodging the cons
The only way that

All I do,
Matters.

I’m glad you stopped answering me.
You did me a favor.
I have needs that you just couldn’t meet.
And yes, I feel things too deeply. I’m emotional.
And I love harder than you can even imagine.
I look passed the bad and I try to see the good.
Thank you for showing me I can’t keep doing that.
Because although their may be good in each person, it doesn’t mean that their good is good for me.
I’ve got to put myself first from now own.
I’ll never be able to detach the part from me that wants to help others and I love that, but enough is enough. This is my life.
And in love, I deserve what I want.
Although I may have to be single for awhile in order to find that, I know I’ll take pleasure in waiting.
Because boy oh boy when he comes along I am going to feel it all.
And I can’t wait for that day.
Until then I’m going to keep writing, creating, hoping, and helping, and I wish you the best in whatever it is that you choose to do.
But you don’t deserve my love,
you never did.

Because wading in that pool
of memories,
of hurt,
of suffering,
and pain, and grief;
It’s lonely.
And no one will ever find you there,
but there you will find that in which you choose to wade.

I wish to say my heart is made of gold,
but it's silver.

Because the silver has been tarnished by those around me,
trying to bring me down,
make me bitter,
steal some of my sweetness.

But you won't win.
Because deep down beneath the fade
I know that the silver is still here.
And I know that one day someone's love,
like a perfect polish will come
and wipe away my tarnishes.

fear and faith cannot occupy the same space.
i’m scared.
scared that you’ll hurt me, that you’ll only love the good things about me and not the things that are sometimes hard to love.
i’m scared ill say something out of line and it will be enough for you to walk away because you never really realized how special i was in the first place.
i’m scared that you just want me for ***, and want to use my body. i’m scared that you only like me because i’m pretty, and that those days where i get ugly you’ll run the other way.
i’m scared you won’t accept my baggage onto your airplane, i’m scared it won’t fit that it will exceed the weight limit, because the truth is my heart is as heavy as it is pure.
even though i’ve felt rejected 100 times, i’m scared that i won’t make it to 101. that it will destroy me, like it has before. i know i can’t let someone 100% in and make them my entire world because life never works out like that. and life doesn’t work from attachment because everything is temporary.
i can tell myself 1,000 times how good enough i am. because somewhere i do believe its true. i know how strong and brave i’ve been and how many times i’ve been stepped on and had the courage to get up one more and i know that i’ll do it.
i can’t let fear consume me.
i’ve been to hell and back and i know that little dark hole and what it’s like to want someone to pull you out.
but i pulled myself out.
i lived and i experienced and now i want to love. i want a love like reckless abandon because the truth is my heart is deeper than the earth’s core and the things that i can love and the things that i can love about someone are limitless. i’m a writer and a poet and a beautiful soul and i will not let you, Fear, I will NOT let you consume me. You’ve stopped me from fighting for what I love and standing up for myself. But Faith and Courage have helped me fight you. Faith and Courage have helped me get past your iron clad ties around my hands and especially my heart. I will not let you win, because this is my battle. And although I’ve been left, lied to, disappointed, walked on, spit on, thrown down, punched, kicked, and defeated 1,000 times, it only takes 1 time for Faith to erase all of that pain. Faith > Fear.