Head hurts from the blow
heart beats real slow
it's funny ya know
I didn't think this is how it would end.

But the truth about life
is through the **** and the strife
we somehow find our way out.

my head hurts but what part
wasn't right from the start
my ego falls flat
you didn't think about that

my heart beats slow familiar beat
not the first time i've felt the heat
i thought you were the sweet
i guess i was wrong.

so i sit here and lie
wondering if i could cry
and it would stop time
so i could forget this familiar pain.

because when love comes knocking
and you open up too late
it becomes the date
in which things end.

I'll tell you what a prison is,
it's not a square rot cell.
Prison is others' definitions of you
and I'm living in that hell.

To not be is to be,
no matter what Shakespeare said.
If I keep living in this reality
my creative mind grow dead.

It's frightens the hell out of me
to imagine what I could see
If I did not look at
what everyone was telling me.

But what's more terrifying,
is to not. be. free.

You think you're better than me? Prove it.
I'm skinnier than you.
Weigh it.
I'm taller than you.
Measure it.
I'm smarter than you.
Test it.
I'm prettier than you.
Picture it.
I'm still better than you.
How?
Do you do what's right? Does your personality shine bright?
Can you stand up for what you want? Or is all you do taunt and taunt?
Are you brave? How bout when you misbehave?
Do you say nice things and mean it?
Or do you do it so you won't have to admit,
That you may be prettier, skinnier, smarter, and tall
But those things don't make you better than me at all.
Come up with a real argument now,
prove it to me that you're not one in the crowd.
Believe it girl, you really don't stand out.
Because being all of those things doesn't surpass all your doubt.
You don't know who you are,
You don't know what to believe.
So you aren't better than me,
but just because that may be true,
doesn't make me better than you.

As I pour another glass,
I look into the mirror.

Really, this again?
I thought I had been clearer.

"You know what lies across the river"
my good mind says to me.

I whisper back "It's what I want,
I want to feel pretty".

So I go forth, I drink the glass
and it tastes like sweet divine.

I stare at myself for a few more minutes,
soaking in all of my shine.

But then the reality starts to hit,
my fragile heart begins to twitch.

Suddenly I get an itch,
I fall down into a ditch,
God, isn't life a *****?

I lay on the floor,
not breathing the best.
My dear mind says to me,
"When will you give it a rest?"

I say back "I can't let go,
the feeling of shining is worth the
poisoning sorrow"

I know tomorrow I'll do it again,
because I never learn my lesson.
I hope one day I can listen to that voice.
But for right now, she gives herself no blessing.

The first time was special,
now the novelty wears thin.
The first time I met a man,
the first time I let him in.

To my dark, perverse world
To my deep, hidden wants
which he taunted taunted taunted,
and continues still to haunt.

This man, to me meant more,
the first man who made me ***.
This man, to me meant more,
the first man who left me numb.
This man, to me meant more,
I fell victim to his whims.
This man, to me meant more,
had me suffering on two limbs.

Because this man was not a man,
as I so previously had believed
He who made me oh so anxious
the dark thoughts made me dry heave.

Because this man was not a man,
he never expected much to be.
Because this man was not a man,
he killed something inside of me.

So now to me, love means ***.
All alone I'm left to dress.
I **** to get out all my stress.
And love ignores me.
                             Because I ignore love.

I'll do anything to feel man's skin
I'll do anything to get it in
I'll do anything to lay my head
upon the breast
of a man who will never love me.

This man, to me meant more.
But because this man was not a man,
he left me with a heart so sore.