i don’t want to just be your friend

i want to be the person you wake up to in the morning

to kiss your body on bad days and make you feel good when you don’t

i want to tell you to come home rather than come over

to be the girl you tell your friends and family about

to drive with the windows down listening to you sing your favorite songs

i want to get high with you on lazy sundays then make breakfast in our underwear

i don’t want to just be your friend
i want to be one of your best friends you fall in love with

s.s

the devil
is a pretty lover
with kind eyes
a warm touch
and a hypnotic beating heart
who says they love you
but then leaves
and takes your fragile heart

s.s

i'm tired of writing
or tired of living

either way
nothing sounds right
fits right
feels right

it's all
choppy sentences
choppy breaths
all not good enough
all just a mess

s.s

him and i
love
like the sun in the sky

one moment we rise up
in colors so stunning
you can’t peel your eyes away

one moment we sink down
below the horizon
creating endless darkness

over and over
we are a cycle
of light
and the lack of it

we will either chase the sun
around the globe
to never see it set
or watch it explode
a dying star
and give in to a dark end

s.s

she carried reminders of him with her
memories in her head and old keepsakes of the past

like a promise ring on your hand
polaroid in your wallet
his old clothes with his scent lingering
a love letter in your back pocket

these little reminders
that love exists
she kept them close
so she wouldn't forget
that love is there
beyond the struggle
and no matter the outcome
it will live eternally
in the memories
created

s.s

You seem to have forgotten
about all the times we shared.
It seems it slipped your mind
that we're better as a pair.

You seem to not remember
all those beautiful restless days.
It seems your memory escapes you
and our love was just a phase.

Did you lose your memory?
Or was it purposely erased?
Is there a way I can restore it?
Or has our love been just a waste?

Depression is going outside
and seeing the sun shining brightly
but still only feeling rain.

Depression is standing in a room
with bullets flying in every direction
and being without a shield.

Depression is wearing a muzzle
blocking you from thinking you're
good enough to speak and ask for help.

one day

you will kiss the love of your life and fall asleep in their arms holding you tight because you finally have each other  

you will wake up late on a sunday to their face and it will be more stunning than the sunrise you missed

you will get dressed, watch them fix their bed head, and think to yourself how lucky you are to have someone so perfect

you will go on adventures and do all of the things you dreamt about

you will come home, to your home together, and get high on the kitchen floor laughing until you can't breathe

you will undress each other and kiss the body you've fallen for

you will lay tangled in blankets and their limbs and drift to sleep, only to do it all again tomorrow

one day
it will be worth it
the fighting, the pain, the break ups and makeups, the confusion, the mess
one day it will all make sense
and one day
you will both be happy

s.s