There's a spot next to you,
and I desperately want to be there.
I'm so tired, I've not been sleeping well.
The fridge hums gently, and the flats around us slowly awaken from drunken stupor - but you? You stay.

As always, I watch to keep away the demons. Even if just for a day, you deserve this rest more than I.

Focus on her breathing,
the way he tenses,
afraid to lower walls for anyone.
My thoughts race, but I keep repeating;

I am here now
I am determined to cherish this, to preserve this moment.

I stroke her hair ever so gently,
a hand on his arm as a firm promise.
Now it's just us, and the music.
We breathe together in quiet understanding.

Even if just for a moment,
we are here now.

This will be the only cage I will ever be comfortable with
I shuffle slightly and your arms tighten,
holding on so desperately to my frail form.
I know why.

You’re too tired to pay attention to detail,
Sweetheart, I know.
The morning is busy but it escapes us, for now.
I watch the ceiling and listen to your breath.

I will not be with you forever.

It’s a simple truth many do not wish to hear, we may split apart in life due to differences of any kind, our bodies may fail us, only for our spirits to be separated for all eternity.

But no matter what happens, a part of me will always love you, and I know this. You’ve wrapped yourself so tightly into me, and I didn’t notice. How?
I will never know how, when I had pushed my walls up higher than they had ever been. If a prince could not love me then what good was I to anyone else. I had given up until you convinced me to try.

I don’t miss you like I feel I should, I know I am broken but I hate it, it is not fair on you. Should love be suffering? I’m not sure, I never have been sure.

I develop crushes, I watch tv shows – all to distract myself from the thought of you, the thought of loving so deeply again.

Please understand that I do not understand, but I theorise it is because I am terrified of losing myself. I’m scared of splitting into pieces that I can’t stick back together because ****, the last time I loved, oh the last time I loved I gave my entire self in all its forms and it wasn’t enough.

But I’m trying to make sure you stay, because, without you, I’d be so lonely and lost. I am trying to communicate and...

I'm sorry.

You said if you could have it your way,
you'd sleep in a coffin,
confined space is home for you.

Or is it because death could call at any moment,
and even at your final breath - being an inconvenience is unthinkable.

You said you fear for the one you love,
and how much her heart would break if you left.
You really care for her? "Yeah, yeah I really do."

I'd protect her with my life,
just so you'd keep smiling.

You said that you worry that you're a burden,
even when you light up the room with your soul,
Sunlight turns to moonlight with few - Melancholy Prince.

I'd smash your insecurities but I worry you'd become arrogant,
because with all the chips and flaws that you are so keen to notice...

I think you're beautiful.

I sit watching over the people I love most
And suddenly I feel like who I was again.

The prince, it seems, has learnt to trust me.
His eyes are closed and a smile plays upon his face
Even in sleep he lights the world around him and I wonder
how anyone could not see (and love) his beauty,
bursting forth in luminescent colour that masks his own insecurities.

I knew she trusted me
And in return, I protect her with everything I have
While she loses her senses, I catch her , feed her.
Makes sure she sleeps easy and awakens in time to
rush haphazard along into the life I am unable to fix.

My friend that mirrors me, curls around her.
He fogs his mind so he doesn't have to think
in the times when he cannot sleep.
His smile isn't real, simply a mask.
In the dark, I see his eyes glint in worry.

Helplessly, I watch over them.

I knew you had a princess
you told me day one.

What you didn't say is how wonderful she is
how talented and how nothing I could do measured up to the
beauty she is, creates and masters.

Her womanly elegance far surpasses my freckled childlike wonder
and I look at what I can never be, and I won't change for you.
I did that before and it shattered me.

Love has never been my role, mine is
one of the long game, of guardianship.
A light to lead the way home.

I see now, that she's yours.

We were sat in a corridor
Two ciders beside you and
Empty space with me.

You looked me in the eye
In the midst of a conversation
I love you - said with a laugh

Without realising it
My eyes lit up.
I hate that.

You're teaching me the meaning
Of cheapening your words.

But you still ask what I think.
You ASK about my thoughts and views

not many people do that
So I forgive you.

I thought I was done with princes -
royalty and pompous nature
Once again I'm wrong.

You demanded that I leave you
The puzzle
Alone.

But why do you stay?
Why do you stay and ask?

You and I are alike, I'm sure
and if you want me to leave
show me the truth, show me I'm wrong.

Because if you are me
I think you're just scared of opening up
Scared of being hurt.
True, I may hurt you.

You have no rhyme or reason to trust me
All I can do is wait for a chance-
And ask that you let me in to try.

How strange that a child of the spring
is akin to a prince of ice...

There's a train station just down the road
if I could only put a foot
in front of
the other.

Time passes too quickly
allowing my body and it's will
to survive - holding me back against the bed.
I'm meant to be the pilot. Me.

My soul is now  only the means to an end,
and I'm too tired to object, heavy, hanging by strings.
If only I could break free for a moment...


There's a train station just down the road.

When you roar,
it must be planned,  
with the right ears to listen, the best time to stand
and the right place - so your voice echoes across the centuries.
With the power of all those that spoke before you
For the same cause
The same fight.

Let your body move with power
Confidence
Always be proud of your scars.
They show the things you have lived through
The things you have endured.
Carry yourself with pride, and people will follow.

I sat in a church today, and I prayed
it was not intended but I saw
your door was open,
So I wandered in with quiet footsteps, standing quietly at the altar the humans had made.

There was a prayer board, I had much to pray for.
Lots of other hopes were written here, well wishes to a mother who had lost her son to suicide (I couldn't help but wonder why) , prayers for those in hospital.
There were post it notes, and although it was not a prayer for you Father, as it was for them.

"Please pray for the end the suffering of minorities including those of the LGBT+ community."
"Please end the stigma of depression and other mental illnesses."

Father, I could have gone on, there is much I pray for and hope for, in time it will pass.

I felt my wings, pushing against my seat in frustration. The outside world pulling me back when all I wanted to do was spend time with you.

The call is strong, Father.

I said goodbye, and wished to be home once more.

So here we are, just you and me. On the edge of everything and nothing, we sit staring out into the ocean of things we wish we’d done.

We hold hands, it’s a formality. I’m scared. You soothed my anxiety, because even though I was scared of you, I knew everyone else was too.

I miss making you coffee in the morning, I wish I’d loved YOU more. You always had that massive mug with two teabags or two tablespoons of coffee.

I wish your family and I could have worked. Please don’t think for a second I didn’t try. Most of my time spent at yours was on eggshells, the ones they had placed.

I miss our first year, your second. Remember that? We were so silly and full of joy. Gimmick Puppets, Plants. You and your stupid trenchcoat that ended up smelling awful no matter how much you washed it. Your long hair was nice. I liked it. It framed your smile that was as bright as the Sun that set in the West over Zephyr’s strawberry field.

The light sank in your eyes the more you were with me. I drained you, I knew that. I stayed. I lied. You didn’t trust me anymore.

I’m happy, admittedly lonely. But I know you’re happy, scared but happy. It’s always been my job to appear, do what I must (whether I know what that is or not) and watch over. The bear finds another like him, and as I remember mentioning a few times, as we lounged lazily on the sofa with our cereal, playing every bit the monsters others cast us out to be;

What on Earth is a bear doing with an angel?

I've been mocked and laughed at
Because of my power complex.
I like to feel in control,
I must see, feel, know , hear all.
When I do, I feel on top of the world.

I used to vent this through the stage,
commanding an audience with my partners in crime.
Now it's through my speeches, and my ambition.

I just want people to know ,that it's not always bad.
This is what drives me, my rage, my ambition
To fight for those who deserve justice,
To serve a cause greater than my own by twisting the threads to make it so