The new cold
& what was sun
congregate
in autumn.

To our fears we could easily succumb
Or try our hardest them to overcome;
Choose to let them rule us and stagnate
Or use them to ourselves motivate.
For when we overcome our fears only
Can we be all we could possibly be.

i am so numb to my own negative emotions
that every unfortunate thing that occurs
is another thing to add to the never ending list

my brain feels like its matted with hair
like its stuffed with cotton
and like it's empty all at once

i know when i get bad
and im bad

i need to stop cutting hair off and acting like its some metaphor for my depression
its not

all this faking is driving me mad
this is all a dream
i hope

Aku ingat awalnya
Mimpi itu aku simpan
Mimpi itu aku timbun
Aku tidak berasumsi
Aku tidak berekspektasi

Tapi kau datang
Di malam yang tidak kusangka
Mencari celah untuk masuk
Mencari cara untuk dekat
Ya, kamu waktu itu
Saat awal mula tahun ini

Secepat angin ku ada di pelukmu
Ku terbaring di kasur
Ku merasa hangatmu
Ku ada di sisimu
Ku memilikimu

Mungkin memang benar,
kata Kafka waktu itu

"He who seeks does not find, but he who does not seek will be found."

Memang mungkin,
tak perlu susah payah
tak perlu menunggu
apalagi mencari
Karena bila takdir
Ia akan datang sendiri