it's funny
how i build these walls around my heart:
strong, resistant, resilient;
they protect it from the sharp edges of slipped words from your tongue,
they shield my heart from the harshness of spitfire.
and yet

they. always. break

even after how many times i rebuild these tall walls,
even after adding multitudes of obsidian,
it always breaks under your words

and i'm growing tired

the once overflowing energy in my veins are slowly diminishing,
the nerves building this wall around my heart are slowly losing their light

and there will come a day
where i don't have the energy to rebuild these defenses,
where my heart will lay beating but vulnerable

and there will be a day where your words hit just the right spot,
and then there i will be,
slowly bleeding out, color draining from me as i find it harder and harder to get up

but today will not be that day,
i will continue to build these defenses,
only letting those worthy to enter,
my heart will still beat and it will beat strong

today, your words will simply bounce off these obsidian walls and fall to their demise

a million pieces
  it is how my dreams have become
little by little
  every little break a little
multiply and increase

By next month
  I'd be counting the billionth one
the reality is too real
  I see nothing ticks my list
and I am slowly learning to accept
  I am getting there

Now the darkness took over
  The dreams I see in the night
My back of eyelids
  grant me the solace
From the daily torture of day ones

Sometimes I see a face
  who know how to sew those pieces
it is better I stay clear
  These broken pieces would make a beautiful mosaic
  But any tear ahead will be the sudden death,
I'd be too distorted for any new wreck.

every time I try to escape you
I start to feel empty to my very core
I'd rather hold on then say adieu
because either way I was a wreck before

loving without pinking up
around your neck, feeling
cold blue — am i bleeding?
or is it you — just coming back?

— i am kidding, cause i'm sinking
waiting for the cause to wreck