Year one - in love with the thought of you
Year two - in love with the thought of you
Year three - in love with the thought of you
Year four - realizing my worth and getting the hell out of my head
It’s been a leap year
It’s been high school
Four years have passed us by
Or should I say, have passed me by?
A jump from beginning to end
Our connection is so severed
I’m drowned out
By stormy seas
Where I feel fossilized, completely and utterly oblivious to the progression of time.
Why did it take me so long to get over you?
Was I too scared to be alone?
Was I always alone?
Why can’t I talk to you the way I used to?
What excites you about him?
I have millions of burning questions
That light fires of why inside my head
Why me?
Why him?
Why not us?
Four years have passed me by
Now it’s all up to what’s next
What I make of
The next four years
Without you
In it.

Hypnophobia
A fear of sleep
A fear of dreaming
Much too deep
Hypnophobia
Close each eye
Lie in darkness
It hears your cry
Hypnophobia
Fall asleep
Hypnophobia
Dream so deep
Hypnophobia
Close those eyes
Hypnophobia
Will you arise?

at night when I go to rest my mind

to my surprise you're all I find

a very sweet peaceful sleep

like angels dancing in my sheets ✨


these dreams are lucid yes clear to see

even in my dreams you're apart of me

they say the mind while its asleep

expresses things that the heart can't speak ..

at night when I go to rest my mind

to my surprise you're all I find

Every night I lay awake scared of one thing and one thing only, Loosing you. We may not be together. But im scared of never seeing you again. Never talking to you. I don't ever wanna loose you more than I already have.

"When I can't sleep at night
I stare at the empty side of my bed,
and wonder about the things
I would tell you
if you were laying right
Next to me"
          -Unknown

It's 3 am. Again.
I'm wide awake.
There's no reason for you to haunt me
And yet,
the permanent ache residing in my chest
is starting to feel normal.
I've begun to forget
the life I had before this.
I'm hollowed out,
my insides scraped away
by everything and nothing at all.
At night, I reminisce
half-fantasying a life we never lived.
And dully, I remember all the places our bodies met
but never touched.
My thoughts run away from me again.
I think of you. I think of me. I think of us.
No. There was never an us.
Not really.
There was always a space in between,
So we'd never had to feel.
And still, your departure has left me with a wound too deep to ever heal.