Don't ask me why I conjured someplace in Chicago, I think by Gene and Judes.



(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXIX)


Was't thickets naked trees within the pale
Eye of November guarded with a sense
Of dreary naught, their skeletons black thence
And with such bony fingers grasping frail
Mists' ghostly shadows winds' nigh cruel exhale
Passed through in eerie whispers, that suspense
Culls from auld memries to rehearse from hence,
Which rise before me, haunting which detail?
The question of what's real.  Shake me as twere,
And say I've built cloud castles none shall do
Aught justice to, and bid me look now fer
Brave minutes at what's allus in my view.
Tell me our games were fun but won't endure.
Then take my hand and teach me to love you.

14Oct16c

I hope i never loose you, even though i feel like i’m loosing myself again.

(sonnet #MMMMMCCCLXXVIII)


Snow.  Thick white flakes whose hapless note's detail
As't measures distance their profusion thence
Half mocks, yet draws the careless eye from whence
These mesmerize sans voice within the pale
Light of an afternoon, and lo tis bail
Enow for losing me upon that sense
I maunt pin down, til playing guitar is hence
Forgot, or trips and chokes in sheer betrayl.
And ah.  You know that word, um, chaste?  Oh sure.
Come, roll it 'cross your tongue and hear anew,
Cuz I am sick of being too naughty, fer
The record, and shall leave erm, you to woo.
If only I sit on me hands 'til you're
Quite ready, that should do.  Snow.  I need you.

09Jan16c

On this chilly café
    independently, I sat.
To this Toffee Nut
    Frappuccino, I sipped.
With my never ending reverie
    called “self-pity”,
I am consumed.

Paved way for this
    sudden urge to get
    my purple-inked pen, and
    my nasty leather brown notebook,
    from my old blue sling bag.

What to write?
Believe me, I have no idea.
I just feel like to scribble
    this nonsense out from
    my littered thoughts, and
    disarrayed emotions of this
    solitary state called “singlehood”.

For where are those shoulders
     to lean on?
Where are those hands to hold?
Where are those sparkling eyes
    that stares back?
Where are those?
Where are those?

When can I ever
    have someone to share
    this table with?
When can I ever
    hear another heartbeat
    next to mine?
When can I ever read my poetry
    to this “special one”?
When can I?
When can I?

So now, five minutes left
    is all I have.
I’ll be packing my things now,
    stop this senseless scribbling,
    head to the office,
    with coffee on my hand.

This reverie, I must halt.
To rather remind myself:
   “Hey, today’s a brand new day.
     and who knows?
     *Who Knows?”

Just go, you clearly don't know what you want from me
Just leave, no words or thoughts like it's so ******* easy
Just now I thought something could finally happen
Just stupid old me for giving in after a bottle of Kracken..

Now I can't, I don't know who you are
Now I want and miss how you could take me so far
Now  I just feel empty and so ******* alone
Now I sit and wonder why you couldn't just pick up your phone..

In bitter seas of ruin is where you cast yourself to drown 'til tides of fury would carry your body back to the shore to rot upon.

And gleaming eyes in life are now dead and staring cold. Lifelessly your body lays in its repose.

In death you have now traveled to places I dare not ever go, until my time to join you in the vastness of the God Knows.

And I recall your stuttered breath and your final sputtered words. How your breath cut like knives, and how your words had cut like swords.

I remember the upheaval of my heart and how you snared it with your claws. And how your bitter end etched into my brain gave me a cerebral pause.

And how I wondered if I had caught them, if I had acted on warning signs, would I have been able to stop it: your self inflicted demise.

But now you've left me to go on to a place I dare not ever go. Until my time has come and when you finally call me home.

Why do I miss you so much??
I dream and long to again feel your touch!!
Why can't we at least always be friends?
Being there to talk to the other if we are sad!!
Just be able to reach out and help change their mood isn't bad!!

It's easier to do things if there's someone there to cheer u on!!
It's hard to do it alone with no one there and you want to give up and not continue on!

I just miss you being here...
Since u made me like you when I met u my dear!!!

Peace is never mine to keep
I find no solace in sleep
I wake and I want to weep

For no dreams come to me
No visions of beauty
Darkness is all I see

For me there is no rest
Struggle to be my best
With my heart torn from chest

One question with answers that are never quite the same
Constantly changing, like a bi-polar mood ring
Does it exist, Heaven & Hell
After our time has reached its end & goodbye is waved
Will our soul rise above into the sky?
Or quickly be dropped beyond the dirt in your fiery domain in the ground?

Your actions& choices while living, so "they" say, are the reasons to blame
For your souls eternal bliss or its endless suffering
BUT to just anyone your soul you won't sell
The fear of being cleared of you existence & permanently erased
So will you go to Heaven or Hell after you die
....Maybe you'll end up lost & in between, earth bound

SO...DOES Heaven & Hell really exist
Don't be fooled & let your thoughts be easy to twist
Some will argue that YES, of course it does!!
& others believe there isn't now nor there ever was
But either way you believe in whatever you want to
You better not let anyone tell you what to do!!
Personally, who really & truly knows where anyone, in the end, actually goes
Anyways...why worry, now, about that
You're living NOW! In the PRESENT! so enjoy it wherever you're at!!