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kohu 2h
reaping of pure white flesh.
innocent, ungrown.
lying through crooked teeth, grey hair.

bile rising.
utter disgust flowing through tense veins.
livid blood drips at a memory.
I ******* hate you I ******* hate you, you breathing pile of disappointing human filth
Tomorrow needs you .
You don’t know what seeds
you will miss out on seeing grow.
You already planted them so,
you
might as well live another day.

See what sprouts pop up in the
warmth of the sun.
Tell me, are you having fun now?

It’s just the way life goes.
So, please stay a few more days.
A few more always leads to
A few more.
kohu May 10
tongue tasting iron prayers.

maroon patches, like cowhide on cotton.

smearing grief, across closed lips.

a blue coal sky, littered with stars.

red blooming beneath skin.

like a childhood teddy, clutched too hard.

sweetness dripping from the chin.

in the end, im wailing in water.

i drink and feast on pretty things.
my favourite lines from things I've written
kohu Feb 28
my blue veins pulse, life
throbbing, aching, red spilling
i crave, the cutting
a haiku
kohu Feb 27
i miss bleeding
i miss the thin red lines
i miss the sting under water
i miss the comfort the blade brought
i miss the hurt
i miss the blood
i miss…
feeling justified

the pain i went through and the pain im in now means nothing
because i dont have any more red lines
just white ones
even when they were red
they werent deep enough
werent good enough
so im not worth it
i dont need that much help
im lazy
i need to try harder
other people have it worse
other peoples lines are worse
*******

you make me miss the blood
everything that hurts makes me
miss the thin red lines
fifty at once
soothing cat scratches
little drops of blood
to feel better

but

i dont need help
i dont deserve help
is that what you all think?
that i dont try?
i try so hard
but its still not good enough
the days i need help
im not good enough
i need to be independent
im not allowed to ask for help
i hate you
i hate everyone
i hate everything

all i want is my red lines back
they may have not been good enough for you
but they were for me
so *******
no one cares

ill get my blade
ill cut once
and feel the sting
its not so bad
so ill do it again
and again
and again
and thirty more times
and ill feel that good sting
see the pretty blood

and ill feel better
ill be better
ill be worth the help
just a vent
kohu May 4
breathing closed
heart tight, trembling
tears turned the world to glass,
edges sharp, light bent,
everything slipping

tearing through the dark,
sharp screams cutting through,
hands clawing for the blade,
no pause, no thought,
just ache, just hunger

a flash —
the cuts came swift,
red blooming beneath skin,
in smooth, soft lines,
then the fall,
the flow and the drip

fingers wet with sorrow,
tongue tasting iron prayers,
smearing grief
across closed lips,
quiet, feral

wrap the arm,
but still it seeps,
slow,
steady,
seeping, seeping,
until the breaking,
until the flood,

and i disappear beneath it.
Fey Apr 18
Sometimes the shadow of you still lingers
in the books you once recommend,
among the verses of the bands you mentioned.
You ruined the experience of certain videogames too; the one where you spoilered
a certain character death in Assassin's Creed II;
said Silent Hill was silly for foreshadowing monsters with the soundtrack to creep out a *****,
****-talked Alan Wake for using a flashlight to eliminate the enemies;
but forgot to mention that you were a monster too.
Yeah, you liked to portrait my favorite games as silly and aloof,
what were you so insecure about?
I remember how you pushed me to touch you,
in this tent when we went out with our class back then.
Didn't accept me feeling scared and not wanting to.
You didn't accept my boundaries then and demanded other atrocities as well.
Where you never ashamed?
You contacted me ten years later, while I was playing Kingdom Hearts with a friend.
Had the worst panic attack but that didn't interest you the slightest, am I right?
When I found out your twitter and how you whined about still being a ******,
have you forgotten to mention what you did to me back then?
I guess that would be too inconvenient.
******* about having anxiety and depression,
you put me through hell and you dare to speak of mental health?
You are still disrespecting women like this pathetic Incel
you still are.
And guess what? I still read Eragon and play Dark Souls and Halo and Skyrim without you butting in.
I won't let you ruin the fun I made for me.
Goodbye then.
Goodbye for real.

© fey (18/04/25)
#tw
anthony cantrell Dec 2024
The only reward you get for your resilience
Is more tests of your mettle
Everyone you care about will lean on you
Because you can take it
Can't you?
You are bleeding out
Every deed done
Another cut
More blood spilled
You can save everyone
Except for yourself
It's a fitting death
Drowning in a pool of your own blood
Every loved one is another blade
Stained in crimson
Arelove Nov 2024
How do I escape when I'm the prison?
Tell me, so I can run away.
#tw
Arelove Nov 2024
Sudden banging on my front door woke me up.
I felt it in my fingertips, then in my lips.
I knew it was you.

I really thought the chase was over.
I'm sure I lost you back then.
But, I guess, I'm still on the run.
it's almost been 5 years, I thought I've recovered from my depression already. My relapse felt like I'm being chased again.
#tw
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