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n Nov 2024
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everyday i wake up and i’m reminded -
people will never be there like they said they would,
you can’t make someone understand;
you can’t make anyone care.

it doesn’t matter what you’re facing,
it doesn’t matter how many times you warn people.
as soon as you need more than you can give,
everyone’s opinions change.
if it’s not about them -
no one's listening.

it doesn’t matter -
if you paint your fears on the walls.
it doesn't matter -
if you claw for support on chalkboards.

you could say you had a plan,
unleash all the demons.
you could try to beg,
you could try to plead,
doesn't matter.

it'll never matter.
you'll never matter.

you can’t make someone understand;
you can’t make anyone care.
you shouldn't have to.
i don't want to.

Dom Nov 2024
i no longer cry
about the dirt under my nails
the smell of work on my underarms
the nicks on my knuckles.
my body now sings
the hours spent laboring.
Lumin Guerrero Oct 2024
I want to be a candle
I want to cover myself in wax
Feel it broil my skin
To see my waxy peel crack and break at the pressure
Watch me fall as warmth is radiated on me
And let the scorching heat take me over

I want to be a candle
So they can finally see that I can only last so long
From the tall shining figure
To a Bath and Body Works cavity
So they can watch the ******* fire turn to ashes
I’m not flame-retardant
I am a candle
And my wick has burned out

Let me be a candle
So that I, myself, can put out the lights
And finally, be at peace
Anais Vionet Oct 2024
My room, the suite, seemed too small.
I felt like I’d been in my room forever.
I’d developed a scratchy sense of stuckness
and a fresh, itchy awareness of dust particles
floating in the stifling, still air that made me
want to stop breathing in so much.

But I didn’t, categorically, have the energy
to get up and focusing seemed like a lot of effort.
I had a big midterm test, first thing this morning
and it laid me to waste, mentally. I think I did well
but it was a feat. Whenever I feel lifeless and weak,
I start to fear I’m coming down with something.

But then, everyone’s tired. The suite seems unnaturally
quiet, as if no one even has the energy to command
our ever-listening AI to play a playlist, so silence
ruled by exhausted default. It’s as if a low-pressure area had
descended to hold off a brush of refreshing ozone and rain.

Could I rouse my posse of symbiotic sort-of siblings
for an outing somewhere - like Toad’s bar - just across the street?
My door was open, so I called out, rather weakly, “Let’s go out!”
Someone, (Lisa sprawled out on the red corduroy couch?)
groaned listlessly from the common area. “My treat!” I updogged.

Five minutes later, it was showers all around. I love a good shower.
A shower’s where I ponder over the big questions, because
answers seem to come quickly there. I imagine I’d be wise
beyond words if I had a house with a waterfall running through it,
like one of those amazing, Frank Loid Wright masterpieces.
.
.
Songs for this:
The Duke Is Gone by Chuck Senrick
Cannock Chase by Labi Siffre
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge 10/26/24:
Categorical = Absolute, very strong and clear way.
Kai Oct 2024
People surround me
They have a different energy than me
They drain me
They make me mentally exhausted
Too exhausted
To the point where I want to lock myself up
To the point where I don't want to wake up

I'd rather rot in my bed
Just to not be called "Special Ed"
Just to not feel pain
Again
So I don't get hurt again
So I don't get shamed again
So I don't get drained again
So I don't have to be anymore insecure
So I can feel secure
While rotting away in my bed
While the depressive thoughts evacuate my head
Rose Oct 2024
What if I tried again,
hopefully this time i’d win.
Will I regret those I left behind-
those I never let in?

To those I love, I’m sorry in advance.
It’s not your fault, it’s mine to bear,
a burden i’ve held for so long,
I’m far too broken to repair.

Is this my final goodbye?
Will I finally get some rest?
I’ve fought for so long, I cant anymore.
I swear I tried, I truly did my best.
tired
Jia En Oct 2024
There is no hunger in my household,
My country;
Everyone’s worth their weight in gold
Or probably more
For
Singapore’s
Economy is nothing
Short of prospering.
There is no hunger, no thirst, no craving
For anything here– no one’s saving
Food and water anymore
For
Rainy days
(No one does, no matter what they say).
I live my life blessed
But my mind can never rest;
I hunger for peace
Perhaps not of the world for now but simply for my mind.
I look high and low
Within all the drawers and cabinets I know
Of, yet I still can’t find
Anything that might just make me content.
For what I’ve had of life went
By relatively quietly, however nothing could stop my head
From working. Instead
I crave
For peace that I have but just can’t find.
Save
Me from the demons in my mind.
hungry hungry *clap clap* very very *clap clap* hungry very *clap clap* very hungry *clap clap* chikalaka pia pia chikalaka pia pia ssa *clap clap clap clap* ssa *clap clap clap clap* ssa ssa ssa ssa seessassa seessassa seessassa WOO WOO seessassa seessassa seessassa maaaaaaaaaaaaKAN
neth jones Oct 2024
.

jump     -     start
heart-wired  flash-fired
fore and aft      i'm wit-lashed
ride   a  scutting  state   (oh-my-hate)
glare   at the creature  (will  it  look  away ?)
i'm    jolty      a    s l e e p y  menace
death        in  the  drivers   seat
slur down  drowsing
jump     -    start

.
original notes removed from 'results of sleep deprivation'

jump-start         heart-wired                                
    flash-fired   back and forth
wit-lashed by my scutting state
glaring my hate at the creature
till  it at least looks away
i am both jolty and sleepy
most unwelcome behind the wheel
unappealing company
company halt
Jia En Oct 2024
Sometimes one plus one isn’t two.
Sometimes you
Look
At a person with things
That don’t add up, wondering
Where they took
The excess from.
Because sometimes one
Can skip the work, have fun
With threes
(Sounds familiar to me).
One becomes two
While you lose some value.
So maybe
Two plus zero can equal three
When skills rub off
Accidentally.
i hate math and i hate people
Kai Oct 2024
I despise this species
I envy this species
How they can fly high
Fly high in the sky
They seem so free
Why can't I be like thee?

I'm a bird trapped inside a small cage
Waiting to get out
Society's standards are like the cage
I can't bend them or else others will not like me
But if I do bend thee
I'll get a taste of freedom
With sour consequences on the side
The rules I have to abide
Now I'm stuck in between the lines of the cage
Where they bind
My freedom
As I watch other birds
Fly high in the air
Without a care
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