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Clack!
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Crack!

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Shhhzzck!
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Click.

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Ow!
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Wow!

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Rotate

Snap-
Out.

Knowing what I know today,
I'm torn between honesty,
and never saying anything.

Pulling from my memory,
I recall expression
as a natural efficacy
of mine.

Fill me with love again,
love as the willingness
to speak as easily as
I can accept my errs.

Knowing what I know today,
I'm torn between standing out
and fitting into the crowd.

My slightly younger self,
saw my much younger self,
thought, my far future self
wouldn't have the gall.

My slightly younger self,
saw my much younger self,
thought, my far future self
wouldn't have the gall.

I'm torn between standing out
and fitting in, and surprise,
I did say it again.

I woke up today to find the duct tape running dry,
I had been using it non stop lately, too many things are broken.
The first time I really needed it, was when the canary smashed the window to fly out,
Yes, the canary was adamant, he really wanted to leave,
So one day as I opened the door to his cage, he flew out and with momemtum smashed the window and flew away,
He wasn't hurt, I think, but he left a **** hole in my window.
So A broke misérable like me just went to the store and bought a role of duct tape,
Then drew cross patterns of duct tape until I filled up the hole.
I cleaned the broken pieces of glass and looked at my work with a feeling of satisfaction.
Then, as if antcipating the arrival of duct tape, **** started breaking one by one.
My sink started leaking, so I duct taped.
My radio antenna broke, yes i own a Radio, so I duct taped.
Before realising it I had a house filled with duct taped half broken things.  Though a strange thing started to happen,
The more I duct taped around the house, at night before I shut my eyes,
I would Imagine duct taping things, little cracks in the night.
And then I realised, that there were  no leaks, no holes and no cracks.
In fact, the only thing that had existed was a canary and duct tape.
A canary that had broken a window.
The canary flew into the heavens free of all things earthly.
Then left me with a broken window and a sense of guilt at the extent it went to leave.
So I bought a role of duct tape that is now running dry,
Maybe, thinking of this canary, Ill go and buy another.

I'm putting tape over my ears so I don't hear cruelty,
I'm putting tape over my nose so I don't smell my own fear,
I'm putting tape over my eyes so I don't see a joke in the mirror,
I'm putting tape over my mouth so I don't say what people don't want to hear.

I'm taping my arms to my sides to avoid gesturing,
To articulate points that are certainly wrong,
I am taping my legs to avoid the shame
Of walking in the rain to the same sad song.

I am taping my body,
I am taping my mind,
I am through being honest,
Done with being kind.

It's selfish to die,
It's painful to live,
My solution is tape,
So I can't take or give.

A ***** duct tape silences my mouth
People say blood is thicker than water
Yet your thunderous voice screams at me
Does daddy cherish his daughter?
So why can’t your eyes open and see
You’ve become a Mein Kampf tyrant?
You want my obedience and silence!

A ***** duct tape silences my mouth
As it leaves a residue of disgust
Must this be our memory?
Though silent my heart feels unjust-
Must you **** all my energy;
Leave me to feel lost and astray
As mental state starts to decay

A ***** duct tape silences my mouth
Will your anger subside and be quiet?
Fear suffocates vulnerable heart;
Wrathful words ready for a riot;
Confidence crushed as it’s torn apart.
Verbal abuse moves like a torrent flood,
Affecting those who share the same blood!

(c) 2018 Joanne Chang