Show me the stars, as they glisten as they sparkle.
Show me the signs...
Is it true?
Am I a miracle?
It seems people forget you breathe.
Am I alive or is this a dream?
The roads I go down at night, the light falls right behind.
Is it my time?
Oh lord, will it be divine?


The things I've cried for are countless.
My tears are overwhelmed by their own sadness.
The things I see in my sleep, are they of sin or scar?
I'm sure people wonder if I'm alright; the truth is you never are.
The people who are sick will be healed.
Only to be new and reveal something beneath.
When in need you are hurt.
Pain is unbearable if it's true and clean.
My words will cut deep...
Oh lord, will you keep me?


I'm sorry if I intrude, maybe I'm even rude.
My thoughts can no longer be set aside.
After a while, I wonder if someone will be there for a lifetime.
If not I'll be fine...
Oh lord, here comes the circle of crime.


Will I be able to shine?
Like the stars above without daylight in sight.
My sight grows as the flowers bloom.
In touch with the people, I assume.
I cannot be contained like an animal, choosing the river to keep me afloat.
I will not stand down, I will not sink.
Lord the day I do; please come save me.


For I shall drown in the ocean of my thoughts...
I sought for you, for you I won't give up.

Floating through life
While flopping my arms helplessly
Look at me go
Ain't I lovely?

The light is there
But it's so far away
I don't know what went wrong
Time went so fast
I thought I was strong
But I lost my way
Now I don't know
where I belong

Twisted mind, corrupted soul
Sacred heart
I have a lot to learn
in this life of mine
Which is ever so dark.

Can't tell you what went wrong
I've tried so hard, but in the end
The darkness was too strong
Now here I am
Sitting in a thunderstorm
I don't mind it
And honestly
I think it's where I belong
Or maybe not
Maybe I really like both
The sun in all its glory
And the rain with its melody

Balance
Duality
What a wonderful thing
Wouldn't you agree?

I don’t know the last time I felt so light; as a cloud on a summer day or a sigh from a sleeping baby.

I think there might be daisies or daffodils blooming in my rib cage-

I think the sun may have seeped into my skin and found its way into my bloodstream turning it to rivers of honey-

I think my skin has begun to smell like pine and my breath like frankincense and myrrh-

I think the moon is watching me tonight with her wide mother eyes, wondering how I shine so bright-

I think I may ignite-

I think I may collapse like a star into the dark beauty inside myself and burst forth again in even greater splendor-

It’s almost too much and yet it’s not enough! I could drink of this river until I drown in agonizing bliss.

Heaven! Earth! Seraphim! Desert dunes! Raging seas! Cedar trees! Frozen fjords! Hummingbirds! Are you watching?

I think, I think I am becoming!

People say to me, “How can you believe in God? You must know it’s all just a fairytale.”

And this is my reply:

Have you ever slept in the woods with no lantern, no light, and all the stars and moonlight blocked by the treetops? Then you know what darkness is, you know what fear and uncertainty are. That was my life. I lived in that Night. I can’t explain what years of darkness feel like as a child but it felt like a never ending night-terror that I endured alone.

Hearing God speak to me was a beam of moonlight piercing through the dark and scattering the branches to come and meet with me. He met with me in my deepest pain & loneliness, and He has ever walked with me since. I’ve never known a soul so faithful or kind, so easily pleased or so quick to forgive. He is the deepest, wildest, strangest sort of Lover.

So call me a fool for believing that Someone so marvelous could exist, and naive that He would notice me, and absurd that He would even go as far as to love me. There were moments I thought it too wonderful as well. But can you see why I would fling my life into His arms? Can you see why I’d trust Him with all my life, my soul, my heart? Can you blame me for giving Him everything I have and calling it too small a gift?

While my fragile frame still wanders here, I will be His with every inch of me I have to give. And should He take me tomorrow or decades yet to come, I will fall into His embrace with a sigh of long-suffering finally eased.

He is not so different from a fairytale because He is too strange and wonderful to explain. Almost too much to believe. But until you’ve felt the moonbeam fall across your face and your spirit quickened by its touch, and heard a silvan voice murmur through the windless trees, don’t be too quick to disbelieve.

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This is not a complete prose-y/essay yet. I’m still mulling it over but I thought I’d share what I have so far. Feedback always welcome!

**no image because I haven’t found one I like yet

you don't have to fight,
there's no justice to be found,
it's all been spent on wars
they couldn't win.
and if you tear down the sky,
is it divinity you seek?
when there's no god above,
the ground shifts beneath your feet;
you take a leap of faith,
but faith is on a leave.
you don't have to give up,
but there's a truce in the works.
be careful choosing the side,
the war they've lost
is now yours.

I lay here with my mind expanding
And ignore my body
As it starts aching

Cloak and Daggers, masks and all
I begin laughing
And stand tall
Even with this pain
I will overcome them all

The secrets I keep
The masks I wear
I will succeed, It might not be easy
But is a load that I'm willing to bear
Even in this hellish nightmare

A sinner
A thinker
Brought in hook, line, and sinker
Now just a prisoner
Who is free to do what I please
It goes deeper
But there's no treasure
Not down here at least.