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Àŧùl Sep 16
Parents arranged my marriage with a girl.
I liked her at first sight—young and chirpy.
And I made up my mind to marry her soon.

In the followup to the marriage,
We interacted with each other,
In the beginning, I liked her.

Soon, courtship turned one-sided,
I was the only one interested,
Insulting me, she started.

She had a problem with quick love.
Berated me for saying it so soon,
She told me to behave mature.

I accepted her remarks,
The criticism of my ways,
I focused on all my means.

I proudly told her that I didn't give up.
The coma-inducing accident, and
Injuries couldn't reduce me.

I told her about how I literally won a war,
A war against time and disability,
The doctors labeled me as 42% challenged.

"But I didn't give up," I told her.
I defeated my disability,
And all of their speculations.

When I passed into that coma,
After the accident, I'd die,
They had speculated.

When they diagnosed me 42%,
I will do some easier work,
They all had guessed.

They wanted me to drop out of college,
Oh, they want me to be humble,
Be humble and accept fate.

Not that the other job is easier,
But they wanted me to set up a shop,
For daily needs, stationery & photocopy.

Even my mother wanted me to drop out.
Leave the B.Tech. Biotech incomplete,
Opt for an easier course instead.

But I told her that I didn't give up,
No, I did not; I did not give up.
I fought my way to the top.

I cleared my B.Tech. degree in Biotechnology,
Not only that degree, but my story continues,
Attained an M.Tech. in Animal Biotechnology.

I initiated a PhD in Animal Biotechnology,
However, I had to quit it due to COVID19,
I lost my opportunity due to the pandemic.

But she, out of her own regret,
Regretted about not being able,
To clear exams, me she insulted.

"People with disability achieve more."
I felt belittled, but she continued,
"They even crack UPSC-CSE."

I'm not disabled since birth.
No, I'm not, I'm not, I told her.
This disability I acquired in 2010.

I told her the same,
But she did not realise it.
How wrong she was.

How she had insulted me and my struggles,
I can't marry her,
The man I am today is after my struggles.

Though she loved my poetry,
The 'Angel?' Saga the most,
But she insulted my history.

She even compared my life against others.
As if she knows all the people like me,
My dreams shattered due to that accident.

No, she knows everyone not,
She doesn't know others who gave up.
Look at me; I didn't give up, but I'm victorious.

But she was not impressed.
She is rigid and argumentative.
Never going to apologise & accept.

I told her mother that I couldn't marry her.
Why? Because she doesn't know humility.
Obviously, she can never respect me either.

She wanted me to respect her.
She thought that only hers matters.
Because I live in the inferiority complex.
I'd rather spend my life alone than with some egotistical person who would insult my life to extract sadistic pleasure out of it.

My HP Poem #1985
©Atul Kaushal
Zywa Feb 21
With a clean duster,

the maid goes around the house --


waving like a queen.
Novel "Fury" (2001, Salman Rushdie), chapter 14

Collection "Low gear [2]"
Francis Oct 2023
Someone told me,
To water my own grass,
But what they neglected to mention,
Is that my grass is crass.

This is due to my unfortunate past,
Every minute spent kissing ***,
To be walked on and trampled by,
Boots and heels of brass.

So no, I will most certainly not,
Water my own grass,
The thoughts and evaluations,
Of the judgment I pass,
Is necessary and voluntary,
In a sea of largemouth bass.
Another poem about judgment of character since I’m always in defense.
Zywa Jun 2023
I despise myself

for everything I can't do --


like other students.
Puberty

Novel "Kind tussen vier vrouwen" ("Child between four women", 1972, Simon Vestdijk, written in 1933), § 7, page 316

Collection "Inmost"
Zywa Mar 2023
Talking and joking,

with you, here, at my home, but --


it's not a visit!
For Maria Godschalk

Collection "On living on [1]"
kiran goswami Mar 2021
I like women's day.

It is the only day,
When men finally respect women

For 24 hours straight.
LannaEvolved Dec 2020
I was in a two world collision  
on a twofold page
enclosed by the book of politically correct

I don’t go by a hedonistic phrase
but by the future of a humanity gone unsaved
Showed me the way in every choice
I made
Swift decisions
into future visions

By the agency of existence for the barriers standing as truth
What is integrity? Perception
In the eyes of you and me  

The crackling sparkles of glass clinking
when we say cheers

This journey is only a conversation in tangled forms  

And the beauty of it; misinterpreted  


There is a path of misunderstanding between the selves  
Bold and timid
Harmed yet relentless  
Precise in its impact
Churning substance into form

The reality of what we believe in a single word  
The silence of motion  
Doing the best we can to discover who we are
Gains a lifetime in the moment  

of confronting the new and answering time
I’ve learned from the ghosts of my past errors
The presence of the now is the acceptance of revelation
An exchange of meaning is not only of ideas  
but of the freedom one allows oneself to feel from a life made into meaning
LannaEvolved Dec 2020
I thought I knew your words
It was like knowing anybody out there  
A blank page in the book of Proverbs

Bait and switch without the wisdom
But you didn’t know what you brought
Soulless protection to fear
You called
me a scared little girl
Little did you know
I was my own savior

What is it you said I needed?
A so-called enlightenment?
But who knew your darkness wrapped *** magik
Could save vulnerability and attempt to destroy the authentic luxury of me
No. Only fake love in lust can do that
For lust is loss and I’m not gone

Then there was you and me again
That night unveiled me
The unevolved me
Still I knew
I was going to make it out alive

I am here.
Sometimes we truly must experience the strange,  the unhealthy, the unwanted, the unnecessary, the potential threats to our emotional safety and well-being if we are to understand the essence of resilience and healing. We don’t always know how or why or even expect ourselves to fall into those situations with others, but when we break free of them, truly break free mentally and physically, with the support and inner strength we all have within, our outer world will dramatically change to reflect the new being we have become through it and for ourselves. You can do this. Believe and break free of anyone who may be chaining you to a false reality not meant for you. That is the only way that you will begin to change yours and the one you wish to see. You deserve the best. Do it for yourself as the creator you are.
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