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I am broken into pieces                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                     
  No glue will ever mend                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
Out of anyone's reaches                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I will no longer pretend                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                     
I am holding onto ledges,                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                          while defying gravity                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
with oil on the edges,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I cannot rescue me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I am walking a fine line,                                                            ­                                                              
wi­th a heavy heart                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
But I'll say that I'm fine.                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
so, I don't fall apart                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                              
  Inside a war is raging,                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's me against myself                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
But I'll keep on staging,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
So no one can tell,                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                
that I am really close to                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                    
 going straight to hell                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
No one knows what I go through,                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
  I guess it's just as well
Kalmia lily Apr 13
And you look at your own flesh ,
Disgusted by the smell and taste
So you take on another one ,
Hoping it won’t make a change

The hatred reflects in your eyes ,
Of deep , now ***** brown ,
You can’t convince yourself you’re lovable ,
So you try others  until your capable

To feel it , drown in it ,
Allow intamcy in a way that’s from within
And you’re fighting , and you’re tired
You’re tired of losing , dying inside ?

And all that hatred is overbearing ,
You’re consumed with it but it still exudes from your pores ,
That’s the origin and cause of the foul smell you noticed
You tried to cleanse your soul , but there’s just more & more

And you blame , blame and blame , the only ones that loved you
You point your finger , hate and blame , the ones that loved you
Cause you know they won’t point back , hate back , by love for you
You will do it all , to deny the problem being you

Has your lame trickbook not been sullied enough ?
In a way that makes you barely notice its words ,
After each use , it gets a little more rough
Left with the guilt and the whole world

And that smell , oh that reeking smell !
Of all the things you hate ,
Of all the things you loathe
Including your poor self

I feel sincere and utter pity ,
That you’re unable to look at yourself in a mirror
Whether for your greatness and successes
shortcomings or weaknesses

You put yourself through things you simply cannot overcome
And you’re unravelled , faced by the consequences
Another mirror you close your eyes to
The mirror of consequence  

You were to speak words of utter and complete understanding
But wearing someone else's skin cancels out achievements
Did you believe you could bare the glory ,
but not the face of the enemy ?

Though your acheivements were clear as day ,
Written all over that face , so beautiful face
And just how you harvested the inability to conceive your heart made of gold ,
You harvest the inability to see things-not how they seem , but how they are told .

And so you move like an evil spirit ,
Shallow and insincere ,
You’d think you’d hate it up there, living  in fear
But you take a particular liking to that kind of mischief

You find power in the ego and the lie ,
Cause it blinds you enough from the inevitable demise
Blinds you from your biggest fear of sinful tides
That you get swayed  with no bark , and no fight
Something as harmless as insecurity has the power to drive you into the most evil and unfulfiling currents . love yourselves in order to love others in a way they deserve .
Selena Apr 2
I looked at a woman who likes a man,
The man who already found his woman.

“Look at them, she is dumb but he is smart”
I despise those types of people with my heart.

“why would you like a man who is taken?”
“just forget him! You must have mistaken”

I have become the woman once I loathed,
Glancing at a man who was hers, I’m loathed.

The only thing that can be done now is pretend,
“Match made in heaven” Saying things I never meant.

Pretending there was nothing that ended;
In actual, my heart needed to be tended.
layla Dec 2024
Who i face in the mirror
Isn’t me in your eyes
When i glimpse at myself
I see a sight to despise
A wide filthy monster
Skin pasty and pale
Self-deprecation is a sure thing i’ll never fail
Cracked, bleeding lips
knotted and mangled hair
There is not much to adore
No point in taking care
I compare myself, observe
Can’t help but stare
I desire a body
You’ll genuinely love bare
if you saw me how i see myself, you’d never love me again
Loke Houbo Nov 2024
The week is freeing.
All pleasure is fondling my being.
My senses are occupied.
But forget that, cos I lied.

I lie to myself.
I now see my health.

Because now we're back.
Sunday.
This empty day, my mind howls away.
No blanket of soothing ignorance.
No lens of a hopeful sickness.

Right now there is me.
Only me.
How I convulse and clench my teeth
in my selfhatred
empty pit of me.
The compact Sunday Depression of Selfhatred
ivan Nov 2024
a lot of things can happen in 5 minutes.


5



‘where is he?’
in his room!
with his cat
his beloved cat

that cat that only hears him
and he only hears her
like notes playing continuously


4


‘where is he?’
in the garden
among the blossoms
his beloved blossoms

looking up
at the clouds
and looking down
at his flower crowns


3


‘where are you?’
up the tree!
the tree’s leaves look more green here
your beloved leaves

watching the birds
picking up their feathers
taking away their piece of freedom
away piece of their wisdom


2


‘where are you?’
walking on the street
smells smoky
you don’t like it here

kicking lost rocks,
you look at the horizon
now you remember
that you don’t want the life
you don’t want the cat
you don’t want the garden
you don’t want the tree
or the birds


1
‘where am i?’
looking down.
at the rushing water below the bridge
is this really necessary?

it is.
i know it is.
i cant find my feet touching the bridge
im flying now
maybe for a moment
im the bird



oh god, let me be the bird.
BRO I WORKED SO HARD FOR THIS😭😭
ivan Nov 2024
she plays her guitar
each note sending me a color
each note sending me a picture
a picture that she holds in her mind

its beautiful
never seen such grace
shes quiet,
only strumming the chords

after she ends, i only look at her
my gaze lovestruck.
and oh, she knows that

she knows shes worth it
but she cant put it on her head.
she sighs.
‘im starting over’
i wish she could see
how much she shines for me<3
Jack Harrell Oct 2024
If I'm an emotional train wreck,
would you be a first responder?

If I die and lay in rest,
would you love me any longer?

I question myself constantly
wondering what I could become.
Should I be more than this,
or finally will I say that I'm done.

I want to quit
I want to stop

But I can't

I have a debt to pay
and a price that will not drop

So I'll keep at it
Until someone want me shot, dead
someone other than me.
I seem to be the only who can see beyond the ******* and lies that I tell
to myself
Every day

You can do it.
Just keep going.
You got this

So like I said,

I'm an emotional train wreck,
but are you my first responder?
i liek trains
Roy3 Oct 2024
i am the one you think is a ****,
when you hear my backstory,
you will forget what you thought,
if i was right...
i cant be right,
present defines a person,
not the past,
at least only when its bad,
so you were right all along,
i sold whats worthy for whats not,
then only ever said,
i onced owned whats better,
but nothing to sow for,
i wouldve never done that,
if what was worthy got me love,
but yet love never came,
it was jusst a hole someone dug for me,
but instead of trying to get out,
i found comfort and rotted away.
Emery Feine Oct 2024
The curtains open once more
And I look into the eyes of the watching crowd
But even after my performance
I never once felt proud

Then I take a bow and walk off stage
I take off my mask, temporarily free
I see someone who I thought would compliment my performance
Yet he doesn't recognize me

I want to do anything else, be a teacher or a politician
But the next day, I'll walk back onto the stage
Everything in my body is telling me to stop
Yet I keep performing for no wage

I wish I was in the wings, like I was years ago
Pretending it was me in the burning spotlight
And I found my peace in the drowning shadows
Yet I wanted to be louder with all my might

When will this show finally end?
I walk on stage with despair I've so long felt
The spotlight causes my skin to burn and melt

The red curtains open fast
Will this time finally be the last?
this is my 84th poem, written on 2/21/24
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