I wouldn’t ask You to forgive
if I thought that I was worth it
Shut You out, turn around,
I do my own and I feel worthless
But I’m holding to the promise
that I know I don’t deserve
You sent your Son to pay the price for me,
and knowing this has changed my world

Yet it’s not a one-side deal;
Christ washed the blood that I have spilled
but You require that I follow
and obey, to know your Grace
You came to make me not condemned,
so You said, “Go and sin no more.”
If I can’t turn and follow You,
then what was it all for?

Why can’t I give you just a speck
of the wages that I owe
I could never pay You back
I’m a sinner, and You know
You didn’t come to heal the healthy
You didn’t die to pay the wealthy
You came to heal a sinner’s heart,
to wash all sin out from the start

One thing You ask in return,
one tiny little payment:
that I would repent from the life that wasn’t life
and cast it to the grave, spent
That I would rise anew and worship You
That through You I’d be remade
So why is it that I refuse
to give back some of what You paid?

When does apology lose its taste?
Like this I’ll never see your Face
Lord see this darkness in my heart
Cast it out with shame
Fill me with your holy light
Take my lust away
and renew me,
restore me today

These are the cyclical watches:
Waking dawns of healing,
Walking light of realization,
Rejoicing contentment,
Sitting afternoons of temptation,
Wandering twilight rebellion,
Wallowing nights of sin,
Shrieking midnight repentance,
Mournful watches before dawn....
These are the days of shriving.

It always demands a sacrifice
It - or - They demand a deal
They are the devil at the crossroads waiting for a soul to steal

The choices of the seven deadly sins
Which one will you choose?

Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride

It consumes the light, but in return fills with dark pleasure acting as a temporary high; a short-lived fix that like acid burns.

Wiping clean
The bathroom mirror,
Didn't absolve
The inner sinner.
Two eyes bore through
A remorseful soul,
Like silver pissholes
In the snow.
Then the blood
Ran while shaving,
Red droplets
Not worth saving,
Found design on my neck,
Like the thornless rose
From the tarot deck,
Looking at a lost soul-mate,
Red-faced and forlorn.
Fierce and piercing
Love and hate;
The paradox
Of the repentant's fate.

I don't really know what to say
But I've got to say something
Because I'm buried deep in your grace
It's piling up on me
'Cause time and time again I sin
But you've forgiven me
You do not condemn me

Lord I don't really know what to do
So again I come to You
In hopes that you will give me the strength
I need to finally change
'Cause I'm drowning in this sin
This sin that's holding me
God come and set me free

It's time for me to be the man
You created me to be
O God, I need You; take my soul
It's in You I shall be free
I'd die to live for You, My King
And I'll do anything
Just take my heart and dig me out
From this sin that's holding me

I don't really know what to say
But I'm crying out to You
And I will do whatever it takes
Lord, bring me home to You
God cleanse my heart and wash my stains
O, make this spirit new

'Cause here I am, deep in your grace
Just crying out to You
From deep, I call to You,
God make this Spirit new

My merciful, loving God
So deep, I long for You

If I could do anything
Anything at all for you
I would save you

I would save you from
The torment that you feel
The constant feeling of failure
The way that you hate yourself
The way that you hate other people
The sad poems that tear me to shreds each and every time I read them

I would wipe that pain away
Wipe all the sadness and replaced it with joy
Take all that pain and turn it into love
Make you feel safe again
Make you feel whole not just a shadow of what you once were

But I can't

I am the aggressor
I make you feel the pain
I take you and break you down
I take your heart and **** it right in front of you
I make you feel cold, unprotected
I warp your world
I warp your self-perception

If I saw a shooting star
Or if God asked me what I could wish
I would wish that I could save you
But that sort of thing isn't realistic
I can't save you
But someone else will
I just hope it won't be too late
And that it's the right One