A chameleon
I've become
Self taught
To blend
And quietly fade
Or to POP
Stand out
Impress

I know the tricks
But not myself
I know the types
And what they like -
But what I like
My memory fades

Not fades
But blocks
It's there
Deep down
And now I search
And some I've found
Are things of which
I have had fear
For years and years...
Buried like gold
For my thirty-year-old
Self to discover

What joy
In finding joy
In such small things.
Joy and
Openness of being

What use have I
For one true love
When I feel loved
By the moon above?
Love is all around and in
Love is joy and peace and sin
Love is want
Of no-thing
Love is connection
With everything;
Not just
One other
Now and forever
Never to be shared
With any others...
Love cannot be possessed
And possession cannot be
Love.

Love is life
Love is knowing
That that life
Fuels every
Rock
Bird
Tree
Cell

To realise
That we are not special;
Not you
Not me
And not your lover
All of us
Just like any other
Humbling
Heartbreaking
Love.

Always be
returning to your own body

when
you feel invaded by another's

noun | the way his hand rested on the small of her back. the curve of her hip pressed against his side. the soft click of a lock, keeping her in his gilded cage. it was nice at first, the way he spoke about her as a belonging. perhaps it was her own loneliness that made her crave his. the allure of fixing him was too enticing to deny, so she dove headfirst, recklessly swimming against his nature. but the explosion of a thrown wine glass on the wall behind her when she needed to leave, needed to get out, made her hate the naive girl she once was. and still she loved the way he pressed gentle kisses on her tear stained cheeks, apologizing and begging her to stay. and, despite herself, she knows she will.

I see it from my very soul
I see a love that has been there for years
your love for me has proven to be my greatest possession
a gift surpassing all things imagined

Brian Hill - 2020 # 128
For Leslie, my greatest inspiration and love 💕

She had a way of looking at you after one too many pegs
Her stare far too focused for someone so blazed on spirits
One hand reaching out almost to grab your face
But you realise what she's seeking for doesn't exist in the physical realm
Her hand grips your face now
Gently
Until you feel her nails slowly slicing down your ear
Your neck feels hot as her deft fingers slip inside
Her eyes locked on yours soothing any pain you should be feeling
Her hand going deeper inside you
Dodging artery nerves and pushing aside your muscles
Only to clasp on your voice box
You move your mouth in protest but no words escape
And as you blink in horror, her hand is gone
Your own reaches up to check the wound but there is none
"What....the..****?"
The words slip out with surprising ease
You weren't expecting this
You look at her in confusion
Trying to search her face for an answer she refuses to disclose
After 5 minutes of silence she sighs
"I couldn't find the words to explain how I feel about you. So I wanted some of yours instead."
Her face is closer now, her hand back to cradling your face
You brace for another invasion but what you feel is the unexpected touch of her lips against yours
They tasted so good you decided to give in
Maybe she wasn't the one high on spirits
Maybe it was you
Maybe you just imagined it all
"I want you"

Angels crying
Reality fading
Just little old me
Trying for perfection
It's hard enough as it is
I don't even want to do this anymore
But I have to
So I can impede my possession

A dark connection was made years ago
Its eyes were filled with darkness and corruption
I see that every day in my reflection
Once upon a time, it was bliss
But now
Now I must get out of this mess

I've been doing really good
But they tell me there's no escape
So what is the point
If that part of me cannot be destroyed
My hands are tied and I'm really annoyed
Forget those times where I was overjoyed
Guess I should just deal with it like I always have
God, I'm such a *******
But I'm sure I'll have the last laugh.