if you zoom out a little, the stars disappear.
a scattered array of backlit windows take their place, illuminating a world of their own.
if you zoom out a little farther, even those disappear.
how far must we zoom until there’s nothing?
if everything is quantified by our perspective,
what exists beyond our sight?
nothing?

everything?

If I could just escape the sticky binds, the glue
Take new shape above landscape to find a birds eye view
But I’m buried so deep in this riddle
Mind enslaved to keep me in the middle
In a haze I circle lost in endless maze
Fear breeds so easily in confusion
From in here It appears there’s no solution
How easy it would be
To plot a route and be free
If a bird would just lend me its eyes
Or if, for a moment, on its wings I could fly
Then how this maze would loose its enchanting grip
No longer crazed
From it’s vicelike hold I could slip.
How assuring it might be to know the outcome of each turn
But then how boring to move forwards with never anything to learn
Each corner holds an untold story
Though torn we choose
Towards loss or glory
Never to know what might have been
Never shown the paths we haven’t seen
We face doubts
Regrets
We place our bets
Can’t be certain
Can’t go back
Don’t know what’s lurking
What might attack
But of one thing we can sure
We’ll never find a cure
For the condition of the human mind
Causing it to always find the time
To question our every action
Sending ourselves into distraction
Over all the things that can’t be changed
It’s just the way we’ve always behaved!

11/7/19

Why do I shrug off their compliments?
I hate words of affirmation,
I don’t know how to react or what to say,
But they’re exactly what I need.

Without praise, I’d feel worthless,
But positive public attention is almost worse.
I feel puffed up or manipulated.
But is humility shooting down an applauding crowd?

“Shut up and say thank you,” they tell me.
That’s how to master humility.
So I’ll take what I can get,
And I’ll work at giving it in return.

I have so much love inside,
That I’m afraid to show.
But blasting out compliments,
Is hardly the wrong way to go.

you smile broadly
i can see all of your teeth sparkle
you give me a kiss
and dart out the door
i manage a somber smile
and wonder
why you never ask
if im okay

The world begins
When I open my eyes
The world ends
When I close them.

It's velvety here on the fringes
way out in the darkness
absorbing light, tugging photons
down with this immense
gravity.

Space dust, starlight, no matter can singe
nor emotions depress,
darker than night, a siren song
making all past tense
certainly,

but I am not full and cannot find
a cure for emptiness.
Heed me no mind. Your galaxy
will crackle and smolder
long enough.

Simulated:
The feeling's real, reality's not.

I super hate it:
I am the one left here to rot.

Participant:
Volunteered to die because life *****.

A simulated reality that never stops.

memories
drawing on recall
visiting timelines past
frames of life
experiencing different points of view,
observing different perspective

altering the now perspective
therefore dare I say,
altering the future one?

oh wise sages speak
change your perspective
& change your reality!

so, I travel back
every now and then
to revisit and heal
the days I don't seem to remember
quite so fondly.

CNR 2020