I sat there
Beside you
Holding your hand
Not wanting to let go because i knew
If i did you would too
Then you would disappear.
I knew that when i left
Walked out of that room
I never see you again,
Or laugh again
No more meeting at family gatherings
Or rushing to you with open arms.
No more looking for your face in a crowd of our family members
Always going straight outside because i knew you’d be there
Smoking a cigarette.
I miss you.
I shouldnt never let go of your hand
I shoudve endured and soaked in the warmth and comfort
Of your hands, your touch.
I miss it.
Now i sit here on my bed writing this down
About us, about you and how
I wish i wouldn't have listened to mom voice
Vaguely echoing in my ears when she said
It's time to go, honey
I wish i hadn't looked her way
Instead of continuing to admire and appreciate your beauty
When i looked over at mom with swollen eyelids and lips
From my tears,
I turned back to you and looked through the blurred vision
Through my watered up eyes ready to burst with cries
I squeezed your hand and said
Ok, give me a minute
And as i heard the faint sound of moms voice and her shoes hit the tile
Of this hospital room with the smell of failing to bring back life,
She replied
Ok.
And when the door shut the cries burst
And i closed my eyes not being able to bear the sight
anymore
Of this flower flying away and out of reach that i may see someday,
Many hours away
I should have stayed.
Shouldve stayed in your touch
You love and your hold
I should have never let go
Of your hand
I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried.
Now instead of holding your hand sitting by your side
Admiring your beauty everyone else ignored
I lay in my bed writing you this,
I miss you.
You were my person,
And while others mourned once and are now okay
Just scrolling through the memories
I still cry i am still mourning
Because I miss you,
And i feel you.
Still.
I look up at the pictures of you hanging on my walls and
Beside my bed on the table,
All of you and me.
Me and you.
I wear my butterfly earrings that remind me of you
When someone says i have to take them off i stand my ground and make sure They know that it is not just a jewelry piece,
Its you in remembrance i carry with me.
I miss you,
My person,
My nina.

You crying without a tears,
You laughing without a smile draws on your face,
But still, you saved your friends,
Risking everything just for somebody else sake.
You're hero without a cape for us,
Even tho we never know that you hold everything alone,
Fighting your illness all by yourself.

But now you can take a breathe,
Now you can feel relief,
Its your finish line,
All this time you running without a leg,
Now you have your own wings to fly into a better place up there.

I love you, brother.
Sincerely, moonlight knight sister.

The day you passed away,
I couldn't see the sky.
Too many tears fell from my eyes.
But they weren't tears of grief.
They were tears of relief.
Because even though
I'd never be able to hug you
As you walked through the door,
I knew you weren't in pain anymore.

When I'm older and its time
I want you to wake me
Show me your voice I can no longer hear
Your memory will no longer be alive

Though I don't know why
Show me the reason you left
That was more important than me
Show you all that you missed
Thank you for those happy times alive

No eyes can see my tears,
no ears can hear me crying,
all I have is you but where have you gone?

Why do you, with your small hands,
try to carry all these wounds on your back?

It isn’t for anyone’s sake, please don’t push yourself too hard,
Why am I.... while hesitating, i unable to escape?
What I hope is for the sun, the sun to light the way.

Find the way though in this glowing cosmos
our hands can’t quite reach each other,
We depend on only our resounding love,
Because at the end of the path we’ve travelled, we’ll find the light.

You said, “I had a long dream…
It was a very sad dream",
But what I saw wasn’t one bit clouded,
I said,
“It’s okay to cry, because I’ll stay by your side no matter what.”
All I wish is for a hand, a hand to reach up to me

Find the way,
Even without words,
Even without wings to fly on,
As long as we stand our ground in the wind,
Even if we’re the first ones afflicted with this pain.

Giving an answer surely isn’t everything
I’ll be patient, it’s all right, and so you are.

We'll find the light,
You’ll find the way.

I'm here everyday
through so many days and night,
just for you.

I'm here every time
through the second, minutes, hours
just for you.

I'm here for every tears you shed
through every pain you feels,
but you still get along with him.

Now you were here,
with me.
you don't need to be worry,
its safe now.
the pain has gone,
now you will be an angel in heaven.