you did what I expected
I knew it from the start
you said you wanted me
but you chose her
and broke my heart

I put my heart near yours
thinking you could be my medicine,
but you were poison,
you made my wounds deeper
you made them sting
and you never intended
to help them heal.
now they bleed so profusely
and you are not here
to be my bandage.
and I can feel it happening, a slow but steady change in rhythm that makes my head feel lighter than it should , and I gasp for the oxygen that I thought you gave my lungs, but it is nowhere to be found
and I suffocate in the pain.

Harder and faster,
my heart pulls two ways,
harder and faster,
as nights turn to days,
shorter and steeper,
the dragons I've slayed,
rear their heads back to taunt me,
their sisters do haunt me,
as I stand in this mess I have made

do you think of me
the way i think of you
when my eyes start to burn
and my body longs for the warmth of your arms

how comfortable are you
on top of the pedestal in my heart
it's like a part
of me
that has always been there from the start

do you feel the pulse
that dances to the sound of your name
have you grown accustomed
to the rhythmic pattern of I love you's
of dinners out and sleeping in

do you think of me
the way i think of you
because my eyes are starting to burn
and my body longs for the warmth of your arms
and i'm not so sure
you long for the warmth of mine

My muscles feel heavy, even though they're light.
My breathing feels restricted.. so stringent, cold and tight.
She says "I'm okay".. tears streaming down her burning cheeks..

bad posture
              not good enough
                                aching muscles.
Wouldn't everything just be easier if I was
t
a
l
l
e
r,
prettier..
skinnier?

I push and shove as I try to get through
Having to deal with people stepping on my shoes
No one wants to be late
Pushing and shoving trying to get to thier class that awaits

My body is numb, sore. I've felt this way before.