Tonight I’ll dream of lavender
Of fields filled with flowers
And a boy with ocean blue eyes
Who keeps his promise when he says he’ll never hurt me
It’s only at night that I allow myself to think of you
You are my filthiest thoughts
Of nights filled with laughter
Stolen kisses and sideways glances
I think about how badly I want you to touch me
Touch my hand in a dark room
Squeeze my knee in the car
Brush your fingers against my spine when we’re shopping
I don’t care what you do as long as you mean it
Tonight you’ll tell me that you love me
I’ll wake up before I get to answer
The sun shining through my blinds,
a reminder of what will never be
In my dreams you ask to kiss me
Your voice thick like honey
I say yes, sweet as sugar
I wake up and still feel the ghost of your lips on mine
Tonight I’ll beg for a nightmare
Anything to keep you off of my mind
I can’t keep loving you deeply
Breaking my own heart is a daily occurrence
I don’t have enough in me to keep from falling apart
