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Jonathan Helling Jan 2019
when times
turn to lines,
and we deform
through indigenous
degeneration-

we, as the ones
that had time stand
perfectly still
at midnight,
between the past
and the
upcoming,

gave in to the
sloth, the
gluttony, the
pride, the
wrath, the
lust, the
greed, the
envy,
and chose to
thrive
eternally,

on the
absurd.

on the absurd,
with the
cheeks and foreheads,
on the absurd
with the
black dresses, shirts
and smiles,
on the absurd,
with all its wobbling,
wishes
and hungover
mourning
in the
morning.

we gave ourselves up
to be groped by the force of time,
and time ended up
making love to us,
*******
majestically.

the table fills
with empty cups,
and we
dance
until
the cups topple,
lay a new,
crackling
plastic
carpet

underneath
our restless hearts
and
beating feet.
Breeze-Mist Jan 2019
It's kind of funny
I almost didn't have it
But I'm glad I did

'Twas only a year
But everything changed so much
That I'm not the same

I have said little
So caught up in my life that
I have yet to write

Four school principals
But now I am free of that
From FCPS

Rapid fire news
Three different protests aloud
In response to it

And my views have changed
March I did not tell, but then
I joined DSA


I have changed my world
Flipping between three websites
For my social life

I have changed my town
College is hard at times, but
I love it so much

With chosen family
A punk scene and D&D
I don't want to leave

It was not painless
But somehow I got up and
Finally got help

And then I came out
Free from parental meddling
Finally honest

Still I play fiddle
Still I watch Marvel movies
Still the same workplace

But within a year
My worldview has changed so much
And I can't go back

Nor do I want to
In spite of future challenge
I now love my life

So to the new year
No matter what it shall bring
I will be ready
My annual end of year poem.
The overall summary of this year in my life: I changed, I learned, I grew up.
But I still have more learning to do.
Mercedes Sep 2018
we were like
water filled balloons,
dropping
from high buildings
in the nights
december.

it was safe to say
january leave
a good impression
but luckily for us,
we haven’t seen it since.

december, please
give me your shoulder.

thirty-one/twelve came,
and we were waiting
for the ball to drop,  and
we were waiting for
the ***** to drop,  and
for boys to become men
and for someone to grab our hands
and for wrongs
to become rights  and
for the windows to be
opened,
for the fresh air to find us
amidst the suffocating smoke
and mistakes
that clogged up our lungs
so we couldn’t laugh how we used to.
three,

two,

one:
deafening screams,
fifty-eight people with
two hands
on two cheeks
with two eyes closed
and two lips
on two others,
and where were we?
the fifty-nine and sixty
were on the roof of the
apartment building,
staring at the stars,
wondering which one
was going
to die next.

you and I,
we were like bin bags
overflowing with waste
in the kitchen
with broken glass.


our material was stretching
so it was thin and grew
clearer with the more
waste it took
and just like that,
one/twelve was here.

so I put my two hands
on your two shoulders
with my two eyes  
wide open
and shook you
until your eyes rolled back
and your hair was a mess
and your ears were burning;

and we were waiting for
things to make sense, and
we were still waiting  
for the ***** to drop and  
for men to grow up, and
for someone to grab our hands,
for those wrongs
to feel right
for the door to be closed
and for the fireplace to burn
our troubles away
so we could laugh like we used to.

by twenty-three/four,
we had made
our mistakes into those  
falling  
stars instead of  
ourselves,
and our
memories part of the  
full moonlight,
and on the  
thirty-first of each month,  
we’d remember  
the times where  

we were like  
water filled balloons,
bin bags, overflowing
with waste
and emotional baggage,
dropping,
from high buildings
in the nights of december.
Lex Dec 2017
This whole year,
I spent it being scared.
This whole year,
I did nothing but compare.
This whole year,
I tried too hard
This whole year,
the real me became slowly charred.
This whole year,
I could never measure up.
This whole year,
I told my self I was a *****-up
This whole year,
I was caught
This whole year,
I worried too much about what they thought.
So this next year,
I'm going to love the crap out of myself.
What are your plans for self-develpment in 2018?!
©
~LJ
The Sparrow Dec 2017
Tall buildings, black sky,
Across the asphalt river
parties roar.
Crisp winds blister through the
city block.
I inhale; smoke burns.
My nerves ease…

New Years Eve…

Let snow fall upon a weary heart.
Years come and go.
Ages pass with many breaths,
but what of these smoked filled
lungs?
I fear, no joy for me…

Year of Jubilee…

Come, oh, blessed city, come.
When will ages cease to pass,
like the smoke upon my lips?
Then I will rejoice in a
New Year.
Jessica S Sep 2017
On New Year’s Eve I told myself
It will get better
This year will be different
I will be stronger, prettier, happier
But now summer is over
It gets colder
And it is still me who is
lying on the bathroom floor
at 3 a.m
crying and praying to god that
Next year will be different
jalc Jan 2017
Let's not leave this spot
This little piece of the universe
For which we have fought
To keep for just us.

We'll stay inside today
Make our resolutions for the year
A map that shows us the way
For all the days in our lives' calendar.

Let's not go outside yet
Into the never ending storm
It's safe in this our cosset
Together we can keep warm.

We'll create a beautiful memory
Watch films and make meals
A 24-hour remedy
To combat the year's ills.
So it's been many days since the New Year, but I wanted to post something at least. I had a wonderful New Year's Eve, and I want such a day again. I'm letting it motivate me through the challenges I know the year will bring.
francesca Dec 2016
to every family that has lost someone to the war on drugs, i offer you a piece of my heart. take it and make it yours.

when the other children ask if i miss you, i answer no. how can i miss someone who has not even left? you are still alive, i feel it; i know it to be true. you live in the paper thin walls of our home, a ghost lingering on the dining table.

(i'm sorry there's hardly any food laid out. sometimes mother forgets to buy any or her hands shake too much for her to cook -- i don't know if it's from the cigarettes or the lambanog. brother is always out nowadays, trying to make money. he leaves before the sun is up and comes home long after mother has gone to bed. i think they're like this because they can hardly bear to look at your seat without dying a little more.)

grandmother tells me to talk some sense into mother. "just because he died doesn't mean she can let her children die too. she is just sad. she needs someone to talk to." what she means is: comfort her. but i wonder. what comfort can you offer a dead man walking?

sometimes i stare at the sky from the hole on my ceiling, and i wonder which star is you. is it the bright one that is always at the center of my vision? the one a little ways to the left? on better days, brother joins me and takes my hand in his. i swear it's almost like you're back, laying beside me.

it's hard without you here. we miss you. when i see the other children and their fathers -- whole, unhurt, *alive
-- i feel a pang of pain. it's like hearing the gunshot all over again.

i don't know if you were still alive then, but i was the one who called for help. i screamed until my lungs gave way to the torrent of pain that filled even the spaces between my bones. i don't know (nor do i wish to) if you were still alive or if you had already had a taste of sunset.

it's a little funny. you had promised me we'd go to the lake that day. just you and i. you had gotten a job the week before and you wanted to celebrate with your favorite daughter. (i didn't have the heart to remind you i was your only daughter.)

and i want you to know i am holding you to that promise. when we meet again. in space. heaven. eternity. in whatever version of the afterlife we end up in. we'll go to the lake.

just you and i.
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