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Muse Crush

You are a flame inside me
Flickering
Teasing
Caressing
Smoldering

You are far away
Yet so close
Teetering on the edge of my imagination

The yearning is the knowing
The mere knowledge of you
That you are existing somewhere
Somewhere my reality can’t touch

My words spill out of me
Like candy from a piñata
Pages and pages
Poems scattered about like hungry lovers

You make me feel good
So eager to express
To spill my inner self onto empty pages

You are my muse
My cruel inspiration
The tears that stain my pillow

I am dancing on a cloud
Unnoticed by you
As you live your life
Unaware of mine

My words are endless
My thoughts knowing no bounds
As I imagine your eyes
Penetrating through me

You are my fantasy
My never forever
My drug of choice

You are the fuel that keeps me writing
Feeling
Expressing

You are my special light
Turning on inside me
When all my creativity is turned off

I want to ravish you
Bite the buttons off your shirt
Loosen your soul
Drown in your eyes without a life jacket

You are my muse crush
The smile on my face
The pain in my heart
The hello that never comes
The inevitable goodbye
© Jennifer Lynn DeLong 2018

I can not see the end
I can not see the start
So I keep my blind fold tight
And I follow whats in my heart

I do not know how near
I do not know how far
But nothing really matters
As long as there's fuel in my car

I'll forget I ever heard
The wonders in my mind
I'll try stay 2 steps forward
So that I dont fall behind

Where ever I may arrive
Where ever I may depart
I'll do what I do best
And I'll follow whats in my heart

Although I have
Nothing to say
I still want
To sit quietly
By your side
And take in
Our love

Today has turned into one of those days where I feel like I’m missing out on life
whatever that means
wherever it means


it means I’m at home, a young mother at 25, at home on a Tuesday evening and I have work in the morning and I’m feeling left out
I’m feeling jealous of anyone who isn’t tied down to someone
I’ve gotten to taste what that life is like,
on the weekends my son is with his father,
it’s bittersweet,
It feels so good to do what you want with no responsibility for a little while
but having someone to miss and a home to go home to hits different when you know what you’re missing


It’s a lonely life
I didn’t realize how isolating parenthood can be
how many hours alone I would spend
how much time I’d be unable to talk to another adult
how much I’d feel left out by the people I care about
how many times I’ve had to turn down plans because I had my child

It’s also a fulfilling life
a beautiful one
a challenging one
a scary one
a fun, adorable, loving, and be loved life I have

It’s just a Tuesday night
and I’m at home with my kid on my couch in my living room
one day I’m gonna miss these days
I have successfully written myself out of the funk I was in when I started this
thanks for listening

I'm Free"
Such a con man convincing me that I was so beautiful, his saving grace,
With his hands, he painted my face,
With make-up I would have to retrace,
I would dress pretty just for him,
I kept my body fit and trim,
Though for real, I didn't know it was a messed up,
I tried to be his best partner, his loving wife.
Shocked and and scared every time,
like it was something new, that just began,
He'd beg my forgiveness again & again,
how I always forgave, forgetting all the prior distress,
just to continue day after day.

Pulling my hair, using your fist to paint my lips the color of crimson red, fearing each time I'd die.
It even happened when you weren't full of whiskey,
I'd have moments of reality,
knowing I had to get out for my babies,
You had everyone convinced you were innocent,
I was the one that suffered your vengeance,
like an illusion, everyone took your side,
they all believed every time you lied.

I have no more shame, no more fear,