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Agas Waluya May 2017
Broken, decayed
As they have never been the adversaries
Depressed, forlorn
As they befriended my mind
Virtuous, vigorous
As I hardly be
Frail, tenuous
As I conceal it in front of beings

Tell you my thoughts,
you will collide
Tell you my strength,
you will revile
Tell you my griefs,
you will laugh
Tell you the reason,
you already left
Like so many of us, surrounded by binaries and cold concrete,
he finds it hard to say what he feels, and I found it hard
to understand, for a while, that he loved me just as I did him,
when he never vocalised his feelings completely, and I did.
It took me some time to realise he shows them instead, and maybe
that is all the more eloquent than anything I could ever
materialise on a piece of paper filled with smeared ink.
His love manifests itself in lingering gazes and the lightest touch,
in private smiles and the softening of his eyes when I laugh.
Like a child resorts to pointing at things they cannot name,
he ends up holding close what he cannot verbalise he needs.

- “You make me happy,” I tell him. He looks vulnerable and smiles. c.s.
Kewayne Wadley Jan 2017
Along the lines of miscommunication war broke out.
A civil discord of peace mistaken for chaos.
The clatter of pins layered on one another, pulled from grenades, thrown at the last minute. shattered through the air.
Devouring everything it touched.
This was how I saw her heart.
Flung through the air.
Gripped firmly. Released by loose hands.
A explosion scattering dirt and grime.
A slight ticking pacing back and forth.
Debating the result of action.
Broke apart from shell and casing.
This was the end result of the nights she spent awake contemplating.
Was there ever room for compromise. Accepting reason as excuse.
This was the first time I noticed how stubborn hearts can be.
Doomed to explode at any given moment. Hearing every reason but their own. Detonation was imminent.
Her heart packed tight in shell and casing.
The smell of gun powder lingered in the air.
The sound of ammo being loaded in metal cartridges.
Jammed tight in automatic rifle.
For each bullet I loaded into the cartridge was a bit of reassurance that what I knew in my heart was right.
The fact that action spoke louder that words could be seen from every one of her grenades, the steam arising from the nose of my rifle in defense of why.
This was the sound of my heart firing shot after shot
Reigning from soot covered hands.
Not of hate. But as a means of trying to breakdown the wall of her understanding.
The sound of our argument could be heard from miles on end.
The ground soiled in yellow explosion covered with piece after piece of her heart.
The aftermath of bullets layered in thick walls.
There I stood in premeditated assault in belief that we were on separate sides defending  what we perceived as right.
Alone our boots shook the ground that trembled in fear.
Hidding behind walls completely missing the point that if we truly fought for the same cause,
Who'd truly win if we continued. Destroying nothing but ourselves in the process
LeV3e Oct 2016
Words...words, words
Words don't ******* work when your
Mind conducts the chorus ticking
Time distorts our memory until the
Image of ourselves is bleak and left
A lie, alone we shall only ever know
Not a single true thing that's happened...

I can't unlock the doors to my perception
Can't break the floor of my depression
The streets all pour out with indiscretion
Protesting our right to withhold confessions
This process wreaks havoc among friends...

They're just ******* sounds...
How niaeve of me to ever really believe that
I could get to know somebody.
To be deceived by my needs to
Exist socially among busy bees
But we're all just working.

Drinking on sweet honey
Lick her bottle neck when it drips
And don't worry darling when it stings
You're only getting the tip
You're only tasting your own buds
These grooves'll rub your toungue raw
And I saw the way you moved when
That vibration killed the mood and we
Lost the connection.
Inspired by a bad day and a good song
Lesley Oct 2016
I’ve burnt my tongue
On the ashen words
forgotten past
Forgotten year
the bitter-sweet
Destroying
the dark past
Up in flames
I see the writing in the sky
I see the writing on the wall
Social graces social falls
White noise
Amber hate
Static whispers crawling deep
Keep the dream slow and sweet
Nine fathoms deep
a buzz and rush
I feel the situation hopeless.
You claim ‘Love’ but what is That really?
my fingers are numb
Love is no reason or excuse.
One must feel love to accept love-
and I do not feel or believe in it.
Everything is shutdown. Out of order
Come back tomorrow.
Try again. No pass no admittance.
No crime or punishment.
No smiles or tears with me.
A blank wall. Cold brick.
Cracks shored up again and again.
A full time job shoring up these cracks
Crumbling cave ins
I think of you everyday & often still.
I cry when I see love stories & heartbreak.
I cry when I hear 'there is always hope.'
I had so little faith & was so afraid.
I never wanted to hurt you.
I hope you can forgive me giving up
losing hope.
I am still in love with you.
I pray now those feelings fade.
Love doesnt thrive in the dark
gathering dust
but set free a proclamation a declaration
a truth shone in light
. No shame.
No closet feelings buried ;
No whispered desires and intentions
Faith?
The illusion crumbled in my hands
and faded from my eyes.
I could not SEE
how we were supposed to BE
Too many lies weakened the line.
So weak ripping easily this love line
no longer yours or mine sayonara
love mine
love line
Its all Hay wire
a fine Tangle and bind
Be so kind & hang up
your hang ups clashed with mine
no nurture no teddy bear cuddle
But sharp cuts
a twisting jumble of words lost in the rumble
Lost in rhyme
delete unfollow block mute ban hide
I still know your alive.

© Lesley Wood

https://soundcloud.com/royalejelly/haywire-ft-lescelin
To hear recording:
https://soundcloud.com/lescelin/haywire
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