Mountains of pain is what I have been foretold
Waves of confusion for my being and all that is
Constantly questioning everything in a dark world that is painfully cold
I apologize for sometimes being so terrible with words as I am trying to express the gratitude I have within me
I try my best to seem appreciative, to seem friendly
Positive perspectives in this life I know I may lack
Many emotions I refuse to show to the world because I know very well how they can be belittled or mocked behind my back
Empathy I feel for those who share feelings similar to how I do, for they should never
I’m quite good at persuading others in believing positive lies about life, I’m what you may call clever
The truth is we are all inevitably doomed for an earth that cannot handle all of our weight
I returned to these same earthly grounds after many centuries, perhaps too late
Misunderstood, is my old soul to this generation, but perhaps it was always
Each day I find myself wishing, begging for clearer days
Time is a wheel that never stops
Silence greets us when we are alone at night, yet the chaos screams so very loud within our deepest thoughts
Music grips my saddened soul, warming me to my core
Bringing me company, somewhat soothing the pain I fail to ignore
I often sit and remind myself how there is good in this world and it shall win over the evil.. or at least this is what people believe
Evil often hunches over me, but I need the light to shine through the darkest depths of my being so the stress and discontent inside can perhaps heal, perhaps relieve
I take what comes whether it may be fair or not
I’m unsure of how many demons I have even successfully fought
Familiar feelings I have carried with me, heavy as my fatigued eyes
The belief that I will get better may just be nothing but lies, lies, lies.
Written in 2019. A poem I’m very proud of.
