Your eyes they flutter
Like butterfly wings
When closed they blend
To the same tan as their background
But,
When opened
They shine a brilliant blue
And throw me off

Blurred images
Hazy edged pictures
Images with burn holes 
Things to see behind
Clouds of lingering sleep
This is the first time in awhile
I've actually felt okay
The world is still moving to fast 
And me too slow
But my mind has a window
So I can see and hear 
Though my throat still 
Struggles for sounds
My hands form letters
That form words
That form phrases
My thoughts on pages 
My feelings on paper 
My soul wrapped into words
That will never be spoken 

These are my own words written by someone else, hope you guys enjoy my first poem in a while, things are actually improving. If im lucky i'll survive -Andy

I want to live, not just survive

-Angel With a Shotgun, The Cab

By the time I was your age
I'd give anything
to fall in love truly was all i could think
that's when i met your mother
the girl of my dreams
the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen

She said, "boy can i tell you a wonderful thing?"
I cant help but notice you staring at me
I know i shouldn't say this
But, i really believe i can tell by your eyes
That you're in love with me

Now, son I'm only telling you this
Because life can do terrible things

Now most of the time we'd have too much to drink
We'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything
Too young to notice and too dumb to care
But, love was a story that couldnt compare

I said, "girl can i tell you a wonderful thing?"
I made you a present with paper and string
Open with care now im asking you please
You know that i love you, will you marry me

Now son, im only telling you this
Because life can do terrible things

Youll learn one day ill hope and ill pray
That god shows you differently

She said boy can i tell you a terrible thing
Seems that im sick and ive only got weeks
Please dont be sad now, i really believe
You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me

Slow, so slow
I fell to the ground on my knees

Don't fall in love
It's just too much to lose
if given the choice
Then I'm begging you to choose
To walk away, walk away
Dont let her get you
I cant bare to see the same
Happen to you

Now, son im only telling you this
Cause, life can do terrible things

It starts in my chest and grows
like a parasite it eats at me
It feeds on my insecurities
It weighs me down

It runs through my veins and spreads
like a virus it breaks me down
It drains me of energy
It slows me down

Its destroying me

I was born in a house
All I ever needed was a home

I just want to go home
To a place where I won't hurt
A place I feel safe
A place I want to be

How do you go home
when all you have is a house?

Disappointment

I see it in my mother’s eyes
I hear it in her voice
I feel it in the air
The tension is painful
It’s sharp like needles against my skin

Her words hit me like broken glass
“Can’t” “Don’t” “Wouldn’t”

“Why”
     It stings
“Why”
     It seeps into my skin
“Why”
     It creeps through my veins

How does a mother’s disappointment explain why?

Why?
     My brain was asleep
Why?
     I was on autopilot
Why?
     My head was full of fog
Why?
     I wasn’t in control

Disappointment.

I am everyone’s greatest.

Stress
Eating at my stomach
An acid dripping through my chest
Burning in my blood
Searing in my skin

Frustration
Clogging my lungs
A hand clenching my heart
Freezing my limbs
Blocking my thoughts

Doubt
Fogging my thoughts
A weight pushing on my chest
Crushing my heart
Choking my lungs

Anxiety
Racing hot in my blood
A bear trap around my ribs
Compressing my organs
Stopping my breath

Exhaustion
Weighing down my thoughts
A sharp pain in the back of my eyes
Pulling at my eyelids
Dragging my limbs

Helplessness
Tugging at my heart
A black hole pulling away my spirit
A void in my chest
A cavern in my stomach

Anguish
Sawing at my veins
A dull knife stabbing my chest
Cutting at my stomach
Rusting my veins

I can’t escape them
They follow me like the stench of my wrongs
My fears like flies swirling around me
Learn how to rid of the smell
And you will rid of the flies

Beyond my faded skin is more than you can see
Beyond my glassy eyes is more than you can know
Beyond my broken frame is more than you can understand

You don't look beyond
You think you know
You don't really understand

All you see is my crumbling skin
All you know are my foggy eyes
All you understand are my collapsing bones

You don't take the time to look beyond

Don't be mad until you hear out the whole story.