Doubts
Can clutter the mind
I know better than anyone
The damage they do
I'll be honest
I've had my doubts about us
They've suffocated me
Until I faced them head on and set them free
I wrote you a letter about doubts
But truthfully, I can't remember a word I wrote
You doubt if you're good enough for me
I've been there, I've felt that weight
You always say you're so lucky to have me
But if we're honest
I'm the lucky one
I would have given up a long time ago
If it wasn't for you
You are safety, comfort, freedom
So next time you are clouded with doubts my darling, know this:
You've broken my heart and you can break it a thousand times more
I will still want you
I will always want you.
You can't love someone the way we do -
Selflessly, definitely, bravely -
Without getting hurt
We've been through heaven
Dragged through hell and back
And we still held on, we still fought for us
Many people would have given up
I might have too, if I was fighting for anyone else but you.
So cast aside your insecurities
And revel in the fact
We have something that no one else has
Know that we are stronger together than apart.

I feel like I am waking up
After a long slumber
I can't help resent how intoxicated
You made me
Emerging from the depths for the first time
In forever
How that held me back
Oh but
It's not his fault,
it's not his fault,
it's not his fault
I am too cruel
For a heart like his, too twisted
I drank too much of the sacred wine
I allowed myself to be chained by my own emotions
I'm breaking free
And I'm so scared
I don't know how to love you.

Long bus rides
Cold, dark nights
Pinpricks of orange lights
I am content
I don't know why
November calls my name
Maybe because it reminds me
Of pleasant hacks
Racing against daylight
Frozen toes
Or maybe it's
Twinkly Christmas lights
The promise of good times to come
Laughter to be had
Love to be shared
Or maybe it's
Old sketchbooks filled with doodles
Books taking me away
Music filling my lungs
Being at peace
Maybe it's
Your lips sealing my fate
A simple question, magic since
Three years later
You've still got a spell on me
You're still my anchor to the world.

I want you to know
I have loved you
From the moment our laughter
Mixed with cider, inky black skies
And orange street lights.
I want you to know
I still love you
From tight hugs and soft kissed
To tear stained cheeks and hurt.
I want you to know
I will always love you
Like atoms, we will always find our way to each other,
No matter what
We will be together.

Dive into the dark depths
Of the unfathomable sea                                                                        Of the baffling human mind:
Explore the concealed layers
From its surface, ever active and restless:
Slowly sink into the sub-conscious
And the more powerful unconscious mind
That regulates vital functions ceaselessly,
Remaining silent and invisible, all the while.
  Move deeper until you reach the source
    Of life's perennial spring,
    Flowing from your innermost being
    Into the boundless Universe, ever expanding,
    Beyond the confines of the sensuous mind.
    When this inward journey, spiritual,
     Brings insight into the subtle working
     Of the hidden mind, you emerge wiser
     And  stronger than ever before
     To weather the storms of life, ephemeral,
     And realize man's fervent prayer  -
    "Lead us from Darkness to Light" -
     "Thamasoma jyothirgamaya"
     The ultimate aim of all mankind.
             **       M.G.Narasimha Murthy,
Hyderabad, India.

Senses, vibrant and restless,
Drive into the depths
Of human consciousness,
Myriads of subtle impressions
And kaleidoscopic images,
While memory, ever alert and mercurial,
Recalls every relevant experience
For guidance in changing situations,
Giving rise to thoughts and impulses
That result in action and reaction.
To keep the mind well balanced
In life's daily toil and turmoil,
Intellect strives to harmonize
Conflicting thoughts and emotions,
Focussing them on a single aim,
To still the mind and bring calmness
To unravel the mystery of existence
And sages call this meditation.
            ***  M.G.Narasimha Murthy,
Hyderabad, India.  mgnmurthy4@gmail.com

Stop.
He said he's not going to leave.
Which means he's not.
Stop.
Stop, lying to yourself.
He isn't like the other one.
He's not going to hurt you the other one.
He will not treat you bad.
When he says he loves you he means it.
So stop tell yourself different.

Admire the proportions, the features, the confidence.
These are supposed to define the ideal male.
These things have nothing to with my perception of ideal.

When I put myself in that position
I call myself Michelangelo, David in front of me.
I admire his proportions, his features, his confidence.

I throw myself so far into the fantasy, reality becomes a fog.
Enamored by him, his features, our closeness.
I am entranced by him, we transcend into the unknown.

I return to reality, and realize that I've gone too far.
I can't take back the words I've said,
or the time I've spent staring into his eyes.

But I'm no Michelangelo and he is not David.
My inspiration is much closer to my heart.

The love in my heart.
The passion beneath the gaze.