Lost in feelings like a child who has lost their mother’s hand in a clothing store. What can I cling to as life begins to wear me down? I feel out of place in this room, surrounded by a sea of people who adorn themselves in ways that garner admiration from others. My neck is slick with sweat; my eyes heavy with tears, burdened by the smoke swirling in my chest like a traveller stuck in customs.

The ultimate destination is, of course, my head, where thinking of myself in a future tense is so heavy on my brain. My lips start to tense, speaking of the past with a few old friends – I’ve aged too well, that those grappling with the youthful insecurities I once faced believe we’re age mates.

Still what’s looking for a mate: a joint occupant; though my joints ache a bit too much. A soulmate in the wake of these days, but what good is finding one if you don’t really have a soul. So lost in myself.

Repost;

koi fariyaad tere dil mein dabi ** jaise
tune aankhon se koi baat kahi ** jaise

It feels as if there is some request hidden in your heart,
as if you have said something with your eyes.

jaagte jaagte ek umr kaTi ** jaise
jaan baaki hai magar saans ruki ** jaise

It feels like a lifetime has passed, awake,
like there is life remaining, while breath isn't there.

har mulaakat pe mehsoos yehi hota hai
mujhse kuchh teri nazar poochh rahi ** jaise

everytime we meet, I get a feeling
as if your eyes are asking me something.

raah chalte hue aksar yeh Gumaan hota hai
wo nazar chhup ke mujhe dekh rahi ** jaise

while walking down a path, I often feel
like your eyes are watching me from hiding.

ek lamhe mein simaT aaya hai sadiyon ka safar
zindagi tez, bahut tez, chali ** jaise

a journey of ages has wound up in just one moment,
as if life has moved fast, very fast.

is tarah pehron tujhe sochta rehta hoon main
meri har saans tere naam likhi ** jaise

I keep thinking about you for hours in such a way,
as if every breath of mine was just yours.

My dear Bambi lover, I notice a hint of fear in your eyes tonight —
fleeing from the glint of light that dances within my eyes. It was never
my aim to send you fleeing, my dear.

Even though my affection blooms most brightly beneath the warming
hues of sunrise- fret not, for we can find solace in each other’s arms,
cradled by the soothing melodies of our cherished memories for
another twilight

A, the solitary sentinel of the word alone –
A life that offers no change, even as I plead for a loan
A fractured rib from a heart weighed down, tell me what
bone can one pick against someone with a broken bone?

A day spent in the shadow of greener pastures, yet the rain
forgot to grace the grass a fugitive in the realm of love,
A criminal to the crime of love, steal a heart- still as one
adhering to the broken law.

A soul ensnared by the oppressive weight of their destitution – a
tempest of debts swirling in a perfect storm; lost in a cyclone
A, stands as the inaugural letter, forever the first to embrace
the chill of being alone.

And she felt like shattered glass
Glistening in the sun sparkling so bright almost blinding
To sharp to hold
So utterly broken beyond repair
Like a fine dust almost like she was not even there

Ambition's wings
soar as a driving force,
elevating thoughts
to chart a new course.

Yet, talented minds,
grounded in place,
disengage gifted brains
wasting this space.

This unfurled potential
a bird's dream of flight,
without a thought or clue
of where it is migrating to.

©️Lizzie Bevis