loving you
turned me into a poet
both the artist and the muse
all at once
knowing i'd sing for you
just as quickly as i'd bleed
to make your world
more beautiful

even now
i'd describe the sea
a thousand ways
just to capture
your shade of blue.

lying on a road of cars,
empty beneath the sky of stars
I ask the God who made them,
He who said do not fear
Who am I?
Where go I?
Why am I here?

My God, oh my God
I feel so endlessly lost
My God, oh my God
Neither leave me nor forsake me
Whatever my cost

it was her birthday today
i wished her that too in midnight
I stayed up late just to wish her
she took her time but she replied “thank you”

tried to speak to her
her replies without soul
like forcing a new born to speak French

I had drawn a gift card and bouquet of flowers
intended to give her these but after the convo decided not to
wildflowers which I picked with my own hands
she is probably accepting some rare exotics

it’s cold and am deprived of sleep
the smell of flowers fill the room-reminding unrequited love
the gift card is up in flames bringing me warmth
I would’ve want her to have these
even if I froze to death afterwards, I only cared about her warmth

love and life both have lost meaning
all the things I thought about her
are evaporating faster than alcohol

I am poor to date her
rich enough to write about her

:) : this was her last message

I talked to my mother and God, once.
They both held me by my face.
God tells me,
"Child, your grief is only yours to grieve. The quieter, the shorter."
My mother says,
"Grieve loudly. Then, it won't last forever."

Neither of them know
How this grief is not mine.
And how i pried it off your hands, when you left.

And how I would let it strangle me by the neck
If it felt the ways your hands did

And neither of them know
That I would never escape this grief.
How I'll cradle it forever
As the last thing I have, left of you.

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Life on lie, I couldn't even die.
Is she yours… or mine?
I do… do I comply?
Should I just die?

Why would you fight, when you're not mine?
Did I do right?
Do I get a chance to prove I’m right?

I didn’t commit the sins
It was indeed him.

The smile that lies on something that is a lie,
The evil in his eyes that made me cry.

The first solution was to leave my name behind.
Venture forth nameless and light the way divine.
Walk forth through the shadow veils.
Let your soul set its light sail.  

Let the winds of truth take you past the expanse of shadow.
Let the lost ones see your lantern in the lost meadow.  
Become the balefire that lights their map home.
Put an end to their aimless roam.

Bloom it all or blow it all,
The character has done it all.
Why do you hide? Why don’t you shine?
The world is hard, the price feels fine.

Define yourself—write through the night.
The place is quiet, yet you cried.
Find the paper, find the light,
Stick to the bed, write something right.

Love is false—yet somehow right,
Still, you fight in this long night.
Your blood says it all,
Your time isn't bright.
Yet still you fight to define the night,
To learn the quiet,
To reach the site.

Long hair, bright eyes, pretty face,
Dressed your beauty in this rhyme.
Hiding from you, writing for you,
Admiring the last of you.

Don’t want money,
Don’t know the game,
The beauty is lost,
The rhyme is plain.