I never stopped trying to be yours...
no matter how much you pushed me away
no matter how clearly you showed me that I stood no chance
no matter the million times you threw me into a trance
no matter the uncountable times you denied me a  dance
with you to the melancholic ballad of life...
I never stopped trying to be yours
even after so many spiteful cold shoulders through years
even when you cost me Rivers, lakes and Oceans of tears
midst my fears, and even when drunk on beers
I never stopped trying to be yours...

I never stopped trying to be yours
even when you broke promise after promise
even after I knew you were a poisoned chalice
poisoned with pride and darkness inside
I never stopped trying to be yours even when
I knew you were a winter as I was inside
for I never ceased to believe together we would whither
all storms and rather than be mere guests in us find a
place we could call homes...

I never stopped trying to be yours regardless of
how much you despised me, the insults and all
I never stopped trying to have you whole
mind, body, heart and soul...

I never stopped and I never would hadn't you
pushed me beyond a point any heart could bear...
until you pulled so hard I deformed and couldn't snap back
I never stopped trying...

In whatever you do, always put family first...
People come and go, like waves along the shore,
even the closest of friends and the deepest of loves...
Money comes and continues with the same road that brought her...
The glamorous jobs you find, someday you lose or leave behind.
But your family's always the first thing you set eyes on when you open
them at your dawn, the constant in the million variations through your life
the soothing words, the inspiration, the perspiration, the aspiration
the best intentions, the crutches when you're fractured, the
reinforcement when you're almost suffering defeat,
the light in your darkness, the smile in your frown, the high of your low
and probably the only presence beside you at your old age
let alone the last tear to bless your journey to the great beyond
at your grave... treasure every moment you
spend with your family and if you ever have to choose,
always choose family and while at it keep in mind that
great family are friends and great friends are family...

All I have is a photograph
and a blank page with your name,
our lives have clearly changed,
but my heart still feels the same.

So I write down a few scattered lines,
and add a chord or two,
just trying to make new memories of you.

I'll play this song beneath the stars,
watch it dance into the sky.
If on the wind my words do fly,
then you'll hear my lullaby.

Will you look above and think of me
as a shooting star breaks through,
maybe words will make wishes come true.

Now I have a brand new page
with a picture, poem, and song.
I know it's been so long,
but my love's still standing strong.

If a picture paints a thousand words
then this poem will never do,
but I want to make new memories with you.

Build castles with the stones they throw at you,
so that the pebbles are rather stepping stones to
a much more ambient skyline of your life...
grow a wild flower out the dirt they throw at you
of such a flamboyant bloom rather than gloom,
construct a bridge with the stumbling blocks they create
then match ahead like there wasn't a speck ahead of you
and of the **** they put you through make manure
to boost the crop of your seemingly impossible dreams...
It's about you, words hurt, people hurt, dreams fail
hearts break apart and folks throw dirt
but none of these will ever affect you as long as you
never let them do, stumbling blocks are tinted bridges
pebbles are great foundations, wild flowers are as scented
as roses if only you look on the brighter side...
Build castles with the stones they throw at you and
they'll come asking how you managed to achieve
great success unaware that in breaking you they made you...

Feet are the best place to look in a crowd
because,
even if they aren’t painted,
toenails offer a reflective surface
that reassures our presence,
no matter the floor we walk on.
I look down so often
that I forget I have that identical shell
on my fingers too.
They shine the sun in your eyes
when I blindly fix my hair behind my ear.
I know it disgusts you,
but I bite away,
in fact,
I chew that casing away
from my forgiving palms
and tuck them safely in my nail beds
where I drip bedtime stories from my gums
like a blanket fort of crimson comfort.
My stories get so crusted
on the nights when
you’re not here
that scar tissue
becomes less than something I blow my nose with.
I long for you
to tell me your stories
and let them faint into my wrists
so then I can carry your pulse
through my veins and feel alive again.
Let your heartbeat
guide my wandering hands
down your ventricles
and let me be the reason you stir at night.
Let me shake your bones
until the birds trapped in your rib cage
start singing again.
Let me be the cool tongue that
laps your broken heart back together.
Let me be something more than debris
hanging loosely from flesh,
but less than a bomb nestled
between the hollowness in your skull.
I hope you look down
and feel the weight of my lips from last night’s goodbye
pressed against your forehead
and realize
no matter how lost you get
in a swarm of shoes,
you’ll always have my bare feet
next to yours.

I notice the night's no longer whole because you never call
yet a big part of me still wants to see your face...
just so you know I still hear your voice down the hall
and smell your fragrance in the air polluted by the flowers
with the part of me that still believes my arms are your place
your final destination as you're my constant hallucination
so I spend every little micro second of my daily hours
hoping for a miracle, wishing I were an endless tentacle
or even Heracles, to divert the Augean of your Heart
and have the magma of your passion flow back into my soul
so that I can once again be the whole
_______________
You were right and I was wrong, without you I ain't strong
Am tired of waiting for a tomorrow, that's free of you and free of sorrow
Tired of holding my breath, it ****** feels like the sigh of death
And my mind wandering, why won't you come and save me?
come and save me, save me love..
_______________
I have run, from wine to ***, to every end of this cold earth I could roam
your silence is deafening loud, hitting my ears harder than echos of a drum
hanging on perilously like a derailed speeding Tram...
for am out of ways of lulling my mind from chaos back to calm
My life's a dark night without a single star, my soul a million a scar
you were not my world, I was wrong about that too
you are my galaxy and there's no existence without you
I'd surrender all this to just one more time hold your hand,
a thousand years to see your footprints next to mine on the sand
for a minute with you, I'd give away forever, be it for a second or less
after all momentary completeness I guess is better than a lifetime mess
you should see me now, shredded like a sensitive document no longer needed
maybe you succeeded
________________
Y­ou were right and I was wrong, without you I ain't strong
Am tired of waiting for a tomorrow, that's free of you and free of sorrow
Tired of holding my breath, it ****** feels like the sigh of death
And my mind wandering, why won't you come and save me?
come and save me, save me love..

As for me, life has also taught me the lesson that not all who say goodbye want you to go,not all who push you away want you to leave, not all who run tantrums and throw it on you are angry at you and not all that ignore you do not notice the effort you put in, no... Sometimes the beautiful goodbyes are just skins covering cold hearts, sometimes "just go" is camouflage for a soul desperate for you to stay, someone will shove you so hard away, just to see how much fight you'll put up to stay and those who are angry at you are at times simply angry at themselves for setting so high a bar as you keep scoring below the bar, they notice your efforts but they want and know you can do more than you are doing... All this is because we live in a crazy world where people say I miss you but seldom mean it, I love you but seldom feel it, I have faith in you but seldom believe it, I promise you but seldom fulfil it and the only test for truth is sometimes putting up a wall and seeing how many will fight to get through after all if someone can't fight for, they ain't worth loving or trusting for All's fair in Love and war, so says Shakespeare... If they won't fight for you, they should at least fight with you and if they can't fight with you, maybe it's best you stand alone against all odds than count on people who won't face up "for worse" and are only here for the better, so always understand, some of us will push you away, ignore and explode on you just to see if you really care enough to read between the lines for only those that can understand our ironies and hear our silence loud and clear are worth our time for most of us have invisible wounds and scars, and only eyes that see what's not there can tend to those...