Every night many kneel down to pray
Praying that they wake up the next day
Some just go out and have fun
Taking the opposite choice of a nun
Either way their day is done
Internet lovers still surfing
Night time turns into morning

Daylight comes for all
In some places with a rooster call
Days are for all the busy bodies
Nights for all those with hobbies
Though both are great for tv binges

Killing time playing on pc
Internet surfing to watch a movie
Linking memes to friends
Laughing together till the day ends

Having fun
In an attempt to pass time
Making money
Sometimes by committing crime
Everyone is different
Live you own life
Free from fake commitment

Lines and lines, druggy times.
Bleeding nostrils and racing thoughts.
Fast heart beats and feeling distraught.
Alert and awake, thoughts are chasing me in a maze.
I've lost it, I'm back on the powder.

They call me Kat, because my spirit animal is one of a cat like creature, and my drug of choice.
Fierce, sneaky, stealthy, and mischievous.
Kat is my name, one of many different personalities.
Freaky is her demeanor.

Wired and full of energy, mind is coming down, muscle spasms are happening.
I need to sleep, 2 in the morning and I'm writing forbidden thoughts.
Dreams that are nightmares that aren't stopping, I have no hold.

Will it ever stop?
Control before it becomes an addiction.
Hold, or the demons will rain, toxic tears to my waking existence.

Fifty-one lines exactly,
Counted on my arm,
As always.
Kind of ironic,
Since I was clean.
For fifty-*******-one days.

I draw the Line in Sand.
My toes are brushing borders.
I feel compelled to forward step,
And yet I cannot cross;
The Line is as a barricade.

The Tide is creeping in
(it screams, it screams at me)
The Line is washed away
(i cannot hear it, cannot see)

It is gone.
And so I draw the Line in Sand.
This time further forward,
Always further forward,
Slow and steady,
Ever forward,
To the End I dread,
But cannot yet escape.

and then sometimes the waves come crashing in and
there is no Line – there is no Sand
and the swirling water engulfs my swirling self and steals the breath from my lungs
and irrational clarity pierces my hummingbird heart with icy claws
and in my desperation –

I draw the Line on Me
A Life Line
To keep myself from crossing.

In our mutual agreement of togetherness, I was alone.

the lines on my notebook pages scoff
as they see me writing your name once again


©L.F.