they flood your mind till you cannot think
cannot dream
cannot function
they flood your mind and completely take over.

there is a never a rest taken
one by one the words consume you
your drowning in the words
every letter
every syllable
the meaning of the words haunt you
to the point of no escape
they are the ghosts of your past
they will never leave.

keeping you up at night
keeping you awake till god knows when
rendering you unable to function
all those regrets
all those past mistakes
take form at night or in daydreams
they haunt you
hound you
bombard you.
they do not take a break
no matter how much you wish they would.

you have given them the power of you.
they are the everlasting ruler
never to be dethroned
never to be slayed.
all those wishes for them to disappear are rendered useless.
why try when the scales have already been tilted permanently?
why try when they have your mind on lockdown.

will there be a time where I can escape?
where you can escape?
escape from the words
the actions
the past thoughts
escape from what was once reality
but now just a terrible memory.

they have flooded our mind.
never came knocking
but came barging in
made themselves at home
nice a comfortable at our expense.
now what?
what to do.
if only I knew...

Stucked in my head,
Tears flowed from the pillow to the bed,
Alone with my thoughts again,
Trying hard to break this chain,
Still running and begging for help,
Even if I can't run from myself.

Tired, lying in my bed
and yet I couldn't sleep
Thinking of the thousand
moments in my life
when I could've made
a better decision,
a better choice
My life may have ended up
in a better place
These thoughts
keep me up all night
They haunt me
but it's too late
and what hurts most is
I have to live with
those decisions
for the rest of my life

Staring at a blank space,
Physically tired,
Mentally awake,
Lost in your own facade world,
A perfect escape from reality,
A place where no one can hurt you,
No one can judge you,
No one can make you cry.

No one, but yourself.