Seeing her in her prime made me feel small. She’s beautiful and breathtaking, and I can see why it would be so hard to forget her. Knowing her before she blossomed would’ve been an honor—to know her deepest secrets, to understand her struggles—but not knowing her successes is brutal. I get it. I feel you. But my heart, my mind, my soul crave that connection too. You crave her, you miss her, and I can’t escape her. Her, her, her. Without her, there’s no us. Without her, I can’t fight for you, and I wouldn’t want to. I crave the destruction of my self-worth as I stay with you, watching you admire her from afar. You’re here with me, but you’re really here without her.

I don’t know why my heart loves you so much. I don’t know why my soul cries for you so much. I don’t know why my brain can’t erase you. It’s just my self-worth asking, aching for freedom. I know the love I’m capable of giving. I know the love I’m giving and not receiving. I know the love that will hurt me. I know the love I deserve but don’t crave. I wish it was me instead of her. I wish she’d disappear so I could finally have you to myself. But without her, there is no us. Without her, we can’t prove we belong together. Without her, there’s just no us.

I swear I’ve forgotten about you
Hours and days turned into months
without the torturous memory
of what you once were to me

But yesterday,
you revealed yourself to me in a dream
I was merely an observer taking in your beauty

Even in my sleep I couldn’t touch you
There was a great distance separating us,
but I could still see you, feel you

I saw all the parts of your life
where I no longer existed,
your new friends and the cities you visited
Till I was awakened by my burning jealousy

Simplicity
Had like a child with no forethought
Quiet, angel, thinking joy implicitly...
Is a babes dream, even where love is not?

Not the taming wind?
Severity, in the name of solemn justness?
Can a vice, be a lover's stare, to lend
The our of presence; of mind, kindred, and bless

What has my lip, for another sigh?
Of peace, the still remaining share
Of life; so many, so many mind...
Even when peace is a step forward, sensation cares

Callousness, are we a fate, in silences fury?
Of prayer; notice the shade we compel
To look one more time, a sated cause to carry
Away the copious day, that is for more than another haste of hell

Here to say, stay
Outward limits we will know
With a new solemnity, with an ear for any
Who would save me, from the mind I blow...?

i hate how you're so utterly perfect
i wonder if other people also notice it
how your scattered freckles mimic the stars
little dipper's tail has made home by your lips

i hate your contagious smile, that look in your eyes
for your perfect boyfriend and his indie rock band
i am no longer myself; i am hopelessly tossing coins
and wishing to hold a constellation in my hand

Blessed are the hearts,
that are pure, sweet, and naive
Who guard their innocence through hurdles of life
Not letting it be tainted,
Polluted,
Corrupted,
By manipulations and greed...
Blessed are the hearts
Whose sole indulgence are the joy of others,
Along, with, not alone
Withstand, not with temptations...

And yet curses,...
Cursed, or rather, condemned,
Condemed are those,...
Whose hearts are full of filths and self gratifications,
Who are ignorant on the sufferings of others,
In the name of "I'm jealous",
Of comfort, of ambitions,
Spitting nothing but contempt,
Showing different sides of one coin,
yet alone,
on one's face...
Them...
Shame...
For they would never know the beauty inside out,... nor peace,
nor true happiness...
Is it what you want little heart?...

I get jealous thinking
About someone else’s lips
Receiving your kiss
I’m going crazy with all of these
Scenario situations
plaguing my mind
Knowing you are no longer mine
And there’s nothing I can do
From another getting all your love
From you

My heart is bleeding
There’s a hole
Deep in my soul
is my imagination
Playing tricks on me
Trying to picture
what could have been
Girl could not see, what I seen
A love between you and me
These are just Tales
From a broken heart
Turning hurt into art

I just can’t stand
the idea of another
Holding your hand
Taking you places
You’ve always dreamed to see
And knowing it’s not with me
It hurting my brain
Thinking that another guy
Will get to wake to your beautiful face

My heart is bleeding
There’s a hole
Deep in my soul
is my imagination
Playing tricks on me
Trying to picture
what could have been
Girl could not see, what I seen
A love between you and me
These are just Tales
From a broken heart
Turning hurt into art

These are just thoughts
That flood my head
I know this sounds
A bit possessive
A little obsessive
Maybe a tad aggressive
But I’m known for being
Raw and real
I don’t make believe how I feel
These are just tales
From a broken heart
From a boy who turns
Feelings into art

My heart is bleeding
There’s a hole
Deep in my soul
is my imagination
Playing tricks on me
Trying to picture
what could have been
Girl could not see, what I seen
A love between you and me
These are just Tales
From a broken heart
Turning hurt into art

And though I haven’t seen
Your smile in quite a while
I still think of all those times
When you once were mine
The songs we used to sing
The things we used to talk about
Makes me think of how
You were always there
I miss the way you cared
I miss the times we shared

My heart is bleeding
There’s a hole
Deep in my soul
is my imagination
Playing tricks on me
Trying to picture
what could have been
Girl could not see, what I seen
A love between you and me
These are just Tales
From a broken heart
Turning hurt into art

©2024 Written By Benji James

Her lips,
Are mine.
Her eyes,
Sublime.

I think of her all the time.

She listens to my voice,
Her smile,
So nice.

But to my surprise,
She laughs with another.

My heart
Is torn,
Pushed down in the gutter.

Sharing happiness with others,
Is beyond my advice.
As this rachet jealousy
Is burning like spice.

But one can only learn,
For she knows I am right.