i am a beautiful bout of starts and sky
compiled into a confounded heart, left
reasonless in the dark so many times

hold me gently, like you promise now, when
we finally form a union, beautiful motion
scrubbing off the dirt and rinsing off my feet

hear me, my tired soul
hear me

forgiving the unkind parts of me
and respecting my needs,
recognizing the demon’s sins
seeing my ardent potential
chaining up my loose lead mind
promising a golden future for no one else
but me

you’re the kind of high i like,
the one i can’t get enough of,
you are my favorite flower.

and i’ll watch you lay on a blanket,
and wrap your arms to cuddle me in,
let our emotions ride the waves
feelings all so raw and real.

and i’ll inhale you deeply,
hold it in,
plant the seeds to grow a
garden of you.

your aroma, your scent,
it thickens in my memories,
my lungs tastes of you.

and exhaling all that anxiety,
my mind has turned a switch
and all the noise i once drowned in
are muffled whispers going into silence.

and i smile by the way
i’m addicted to you that
all i want is more of you,
i don’t want just the bouquet
but the paradise garden that is you.

Is it about you or God,
Does your religion teach hate,
A bed of roses may not be your life,
But it is was Jesus who wore the thorns of strife,
Don't judge but show love everyday,
God will sort us out on judgment day,
Live your life so when you die,
Nice things people say won't be a lie,
If you're going to be religious,
Instead of a nut be a fruit spiritually delicious,
It's good to talk the talk,
More pleasing to walk the walk,
If you keep your eyes on God above,
Then how can you not know love.

HIS NAME IS J RIGHT?
ALL I NOW I KNOW HE ALWAYS ON MY MIND
WISHING HE WAS MINE AND OH MY MY MY
NOW I KNOW HE MORE THAT A LOVE THAT RHYME
HIS VOICE IS SMOOTHER THAN WHAT MAKES WINE
KNOWING THAT HIS PIANO GROOVES ME MAKES MOVES ME MORE THAN THE HOURS SO SOOTHE ME TO IT DROVE ME TO THE MOMENT THAT KEPT ME ALL OVER NIGHT LISTENING TO THE SKIES FALLING OVER ME IN THIS TIME.

There's things I never want to feel again. Not for them. Not for me. Not for no one. Not for no situation. There's things I never wanna see cause it'll be hot flashes of what used to be. Things I used to do. The person I used to cater too. The person I used to be. The person whom I've shed. That ain't me. Thats dead. Those aren't my feelings. Those aren't real. They're not real. I've healed. I've healed. They were. Believe me they were. But not no more. Those feelings don't belong to me, they don't right? Not more, no sir. The one with untended emotional wounds and unmet needs. The one you never tended, prioriorites you didn't feed. They don't belong with the new me. With the new year. With the new skin. They belong with the broken. The old me with kinks, swollen bottom lip. The teary eyed, the big brat. With the small hands that fit perfectly into yours. That's the old me with the old you. May they rest in peace. But they keep me up on nights like this, tell em please stop calling me. Please ** stop calling me.

i want to be independent
but i become enticed in the feeling of having others build me up to make a 'better me'
but people are unreliable
they love you till they see all your vulnerabilities and your flaws
then they blast it for the world to see
and they wonder why i no longer make the effort to talk
i distance myself
i create a world where i need to be independent
because no one can be trusted

Not a horseman, nor a coach,
The horses are down the high pitched coast;
Only a weak whip-like reproach
Made the horses run from their own ghost.


Down the hill, the horses flying
Into the deep like doomed pegasuses' *****;
The neighs and waves are crying,
Replying the peaceful song of a fiendish siren.


Before the dark water turns to scarlet,
It paints a mad reflection of them horror haunted;
A demerited dark life-span mindset
That vanishes in the wild waves delighted.