i have heard of many sane people
who become isolated somehow
trapped
captured
imprisoned
stranded
who spend too much time
in solitude and go completely
and irreversibly
mad
Ive spent too much thinking lately
and have realized that maybe
its not the alone that kills you
steals your mind
its all the words
we all have so much to say
too many words
trapped in our heads
and with no way to release them
to pass them along to others
they pile up in our minds
like water filling a balloon
but a balloon can only take so
much water
before it bursts into
a million
tiny
pieces
leaving behind
useless scraps
of rubber
unsalvageable
maybe thats why lonely people
sad people
mad people
who don’t talk enough
who have no one to listen
have slashes across their wrists
and bang their heads against the walls
to try to
relieve
the pressure

Do you see that light?
Coming out of that window?
I see that light more than you do
I isolate myself from many things
From big groups and crowds and even from people I hate
From family members asking about my day or if I have a boyfriend for once
That light is what I have
I even have a bed with warm covers and a desk full of homework that was suppose to be done a week ago
I'm stressed out and alone
And that's not anyone's fault
ITS MY FAULT
Only I can fix that by leaving the room full of darkness and that one beam of light shining out of that window
But the problem is
It's only me
No ones helping or understanding
Well I guess I'll just stay in my room

In the morning I wake, eyes opened in a foreign place
I don’t know these wall or these sills
Nor this bed I find myself in
These windows are, thee only familiar thing
Wide doors, dark passage wall
My mind seems to be running
I’m too afraid to touch the marble floors
Looking at my reflection head tilted down
This place is all to foreign to me
The curtains hang from ceiling to ground
Covered in what looks like circus clowns
To my left a candle lit, to brightly beam
To the right a door, that leads to my dismay
I feel the breeze run through my hair
Waking every sleeping, pore
My throat is dry, my mind confused
Where am I, wait who am I
Have these four walls, taking away my identity
For some faint reason I cannot remember
WHO I AM
I feel lost, isolated and even dead
Well perhaps this is hell at its best
For heaven seemed warmer, brighter and blessed
This is a nightmare - as I move to get off the bed
In total silence I slid to the edge, my face
Tiled towards these marble shinning floors
Where my reflection, reflects right back
A look of fear, anxiety and total disarray
As my feet touches the floor I feel,
Shivers run up my spine to my neck
The ground is cold and horrid too
Of all the colours, grey is what you choose
You must have, had a dull and boring life too
WHO AM I

Unshaken
Beyond this simple world
I have become unlike
Them all.
Wandering
Behind realms
Lost.
Unknown and
Rejected.
Not looking for
A way back,
Just a way out.

I want to go on a boat ride.
By myself,
Soaring through the waves.
The sunlight,
Beaming from the skies.
The distance,
From everything but the seas.

Up and down, up and down,
The waves would make me feel.
Was it right to be like this,
Away from all I had?
Stuck in my own mind,
The sunlight disappeared.

I want to go back to shore!
Where all my friends would be.
The laughs,
We will always remember.
The hugs,
That brought us closer.
Ourselves,
That brought us together.

But when I slip on the sand,
I know I can't stand.
Stand what? All my mistakes.
Was it right to come back,
And give a second chance?
The sand turns to stone.

I want to go on a boat ride.