It's a depressing night. I'm alone.

Remember my first entry, that I couldn't express myself? It translated through my writings.

It's hard, really. It's my first ever contest and I don't want to waste the opportunity given. But you see, it's hard to imagine yourself fighting a war you know you will loose.

Some may say, at least you fought trying. Well EFF that. It matters most and it's sentimental if you fought for something you truly love, but in my case it isn't. I love my org but never this genre.

Maybe I could, but time wouldn't permit.

I could try another genre where I could say I could fight my best and I could do my all to really best all the contestants. At least by this genre I could feature my very best. Winning or loosing, it will really matter because it's what I like.

There's a big difference.

And I thought a leader could talk me out through this depressing state, with all the expertise and experience.

But I think not.

He is with me on the notion of quitting. I guess it truly is the right decision. Who knows?

Give me a moment of silence and I couldn't defend myself. Give me encouragement and conversation; and maybe, just maybe, I could try and weigh things out and be the selfless and just contestant everyone is thinking of.

Look up sugar
&
Let your walls down.
-
Let my passion caress
your mind,
as you wear my poetry
out on your skin.
-
Let these words induce
salacious thoughts;
with each adjective &
every verb intensifying
your desires.
-
Just lay down,
as my love lifts you higher,
and higher,
until we reach the sun.

“I'm sorry..”

I've written this line
over a thousand times,
yet every déjà vu-filled
renewal of it is a testament
to your influence on me;
an indication of my complete
adoration for you.

Forgive me,
I'm still learning how to adjust to
your love’s wild pirouettes while
keeping my footing.

Teach me.

You can't confess your feelings then leave me on the curb,
Then pick me up when you want me, boy you have the nerve,
To treat me like ******* trash, and walk around all high and mighty,
Saying how much you hate me and and that my tears were most likely,
The repercussions of your actions because, oh how much I miss you,
Well bull ******* ****, without you I feel new,
And now you're at my door step, begging for me back,
Well I'm sorry there bud, I'm done doing laps around the track,
For one stupid boy, who just couldn't treat me right,
You're really just not worth the ******* constant fight.