I feel like I'm going to love you forever
like I thought I'd love her forever
like i thought I'd never love again
it gets worse when I listen to love songs
or read romance stories
and that makes me believe none of it is real
that I'm just yearning for something with anyone
real or not
but then you do something
you put on a funny voice
you make a joke
a silly sound
you put that :p face on your texts that you'd never make in real life
you say my name
ask to play a game
tell me you were thinking of having me over
thinking of a gift for me
and you spoke so softly to me that one time
gentle, reassuring, patient
while i was anxious out of my mind because i can't even cook in front of other people
but I got through it because of you
because you wanted to be my friend
because you are my friend
and I don't know what kind of love this is
platonic, romantic, delusional
but I know I love you
and I think I always will

The love letters
I wrote bare my scars
our related past
your creative pass.

I used to fall in love
(Infatuation) with all kinds of birds,
There was an early Robin
Long before the one with the ring.........no words,
Robin #1 had a single-mother
Kept a keen eye on us,
This girl was totally cute
But they left on a bus,
At least I think so
When their apartment was vacated,
I was broken hearted
And that is understated.

Before that there was Lynn
I carried her school books on my bicycle,
An eighth-grade romance
I wasn’t yet an icicle,
No major touching
Just a casual knowing,
That she was nice and I was attracted
Gentle winds were blowing.

Then there was Vicky
I didn't treat her well,
I was beginning to get anxious
In my own private hell,
Now I know why
I had a hard time making decisions,
Others had always chosen for me
With strict conditions.

Jeanie changed all that
We were fun on the run,
Things got hot and heavy
And we almost shot the gun,
We played around for a while
Even after we went our ways,
Friday night rendezvous’
Bored teenagers practicing plays.

Cindy was a drop-in
Restrictive Catholic parents on tap,
But she was a hottie
Sitting on my lap,
Man, things were hot and juicy
But we weren’t really rolling in the same crew,
It was a short run romance
I should not have stirred the stew.

After that I fell in love once more
With a younger girl again,
Marcia was her name
But I was a mess by then,
I could not express my feelings
And hardly talk on the telephone,
I took her to the Prom
I was like a stupid stone.

It was hard being me
Those “incel” guys, I completely understand,
There was no internet groove at the time
A support group for the not in demand,
But, I wasn’t angry at women
I was quite aware of my limitations,
Which didn’t make it easier
Just a lot of hopeless never-invitations.

Don’t even imagine
That my story ever improved,
I got to age forty-five
And my world had not moved,
Now, something did happen
But it was not of my creation,
I guess that was the final answer
Step aside and just take dictation.

Just do what someone else suggested
To see what might occur,
I tried it and God Dang!
I met HER.

Eyes, like a blue clouded sky, raining bright rays of yellow sunlight.

Have you ever been so infatuated with someone that you thought you’d die? My memories are fresh - and embarrassing - there’s no sense of time’s distortion.

I was twelve and we were living in Shenzhen, China.
When my heart went off like a grenade for this fourteen year old boy.
I was so beguiled that I started writing poetry - always a bad sign.

I was exposed - turned inside out by it;
like my guts were hung out for birds to peck.
I writhed in that particular, lonely agony.

All I ever had to offer him was my helplessness.
He didn’t take advantage - I think I scared him.
I wonder what memories he took from me?

the red
rose
has
been
in
flower

it'll shed
its
petals
anon

if we are trees
our roots are intertwined
cut one down, and the other dies
as long as we live
we'll sway in tandem
arm in arm, limb in limb

Michael, why are you playing so f-king hard to get?
I etched my number into your car, so you won't forget it.
I stalked you day and night just to prove my undying interest.
Did you get the shower pix of you, I intend to post on Pinterest?
I climbed in through your skylight twice, I bet you didn’t know.
I hid in your workplace mensroom, but alas you never showed.
Michael dear, I’m getting vexed, didn’t you see my million texts?
I know that you’ve been busy - that relationships aren’t always easy.
Michael, don’t be capricious, satisfy my sordid misses.
You simply have to wave to me - I’m out here in the bushes.