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Eve 1d
i am afraid that
if i were to perish in a car accident
and they see that
i am an ***** donor
and a doctor examines
the vessel i call a body,
he might say;
"none of this is any good"

i would be too dead
to be devastated
Again, it comes, with stabs, and gaps, and drags, day, by day, you wait, with hope, that you, not broke, but a, phase of life, and not, condemned, or shunned, but truth, be told, if not, from fault, you're getting, old, and that, don't change, and soon, estranged, you'll roam, in search, of what, you lost. It is, with pain, I can inform, the human form, its not for life, least not our life, but each others, and that we must, be kind, lest we find, not helping, hands, but, roaming feet, and faces, that we'll never meet.
About: It doesn't matter whether you have good reason to be upset, most people won't care and will ignore you regardless.
Eliana Knight Mar 14
In a place where my dark insanity does crawl,
The voices I hear are having a brawl,
Whispers echo in the halls of the mind,
Twisting thoughts of a darkness of the purest kind.

Reality shattered, like broken pieces of glass,
In the endless maze, that my mind is at an impasse,
Illusions surround me in a macabre dance,
Mental illness has my mind in a trance.

Voices taunt, a never-ending noise of despair,
Pure madness reigns when im stuck in my mind’s lair,
Visions torment, shadows popping up, is a poison like cyanide,
In the labyrinth where only the demons’ rule & sanity has died.

Chains of delusion bind my soul,
I feel like a burden & I believe my hysteria takes a toll,
As my loved ones must bring me back from the rabbit-hole,
It torments me and anxiety eats away at my soul.

Fear grips tight in its icy clutch,
In the purview of the mind’s dark touch,
A slave to my thoughts where demonic voices play,
And shadows lurk around making sure they too get a say.

In the darkness where the madness that reigns supreme,
I am a soul adrift in an bleakness dream,
Lost in the abyss of insanity’s tight grasp,
I wait for day when my mind will collapse.
I am frustrated with myself
Y won't I change myself?
I do all the work on myself
But I still am not getting the results I want from myself

Who I am now is not enough to be self
I need more of myself
To expand into more of myself
but still I can't bring change through myself

I am age deaf
Deaf to the inevitable success brewing in myself,
Something mischievous is working against my self
Maybe an elf
That doesn't want to be a shelf
Holding onto parts that remind me of the inadequacies of my knife
I can't cut through to release myself
I desperately want to rebrand myself
So I can differentiate from my past self

I am tired of proving this new self
Her existence stranger to her own self
All she wants to be is high on life it self
Which always reflects back her divinity in herself

Ooo the pains of being so focused on myself
I can't get enough of all this attention on myself
From myself
All my problems a delight to marinate on oneself
Isolated from the world's problems watching from the topself
I have to solve my own problems before I can focus on your self

Ooo but my lonesome can't stand figuring all this out by myself
I guess that's y we split up and branched out to explore our self
So we can share different possibilities to free my self
And your self
So we can remember the freedom of being non self.

So goodbye not self
I tried but I can't bring myself
To act in your behalf
With you I can't laugh
I'd rather be the staff of my higher self
My lowerself is betting on the neck of this giraffe,
You don't give an F,
But you will when you realize you're nomore 12.
These cycles won't break themselves.
So let's rev
And meet our best self

It's OK to lean into help
You don't need to pay for this soul hotel
Drink up from this well
So confusion you expell
Clarity your gut smells
Your present self is perf
You just gotta remember your true self
God herself within you dwells
So give up the struggle, time to rebel

No need to repel
What is true in this melt
Your soul awakens to help your human compell
You already have the wealth
Like the clothes you've been dealt
mwah!
I want him to love me the way one loves
a whimpering and
neglected dog,
with pity and
with worry and with
shame. He will find me
in an alley, shivering and
shaking, hiding from the rain.
He will coax me out from beneath whatever
discarded scrap I am cowering under, he will wrap
me in a towel or blanket or his jacket, something - anything - warm.

He will carry me home, to his home. He will place me
by the radiator, turned up to full. I will curl up
beneath it, still shivering, still shaking, while he goes to the kitchen in the
hopes of finding me something to eat.
He will rummage through the
fridge trying, to the best of his ability, to recall
exactly what does
and what does not
**** a dog.
"A lot." I will say. "More than
you think." I will say.
And he will just smile and bring me
something that doesn't.

I tell him I will not live long. He could
do anything and I would not live long. He says he has
forgiven worse sins. I tell him I
hope he never dies. He tells me I will
be disappointed. I tell him I love him. He says I love him
the way a whimpering and
neglected dog does,
desperately, painfully, with a need and
a hunger found only in children and
anorexics. He tells me
he loves me too. I tell him
I am sorry. He says he has forgiven
worse sins.

He strokes between my eyes,
a gentle spot, designed only for soothing something
to sleep. Perhaps by morning I will be
cured, my whimpering ceased, my shakes subsided. I will
run through his house, tail wagging, while he smiles and
laughs and drinks his coffee. Or perhaps there
will be no change, perhaps he will have to drive
me to the vet and have me
put down. Perhaps he will want to. A mangy thing, sick and
diseased. Irreparable.
Unsavable. Perhaps he won't need to. Perhaps
by morning I will
already be dead. But
for now I will sleep, warm
and fed, a hand soft between
the eyes.
This is about my dad, but it could be interpreted differently.
I used to think age was a state of mind
Working my whole life nose to the grind
Turbulent years have not been kind

Was there a specific moment life rearranged
When I began to notice change
Overtime life dreams became estranged

Began to move a little slower love not as bright
Cancer demands choices joy is out of sight

Illness take its toll
Pain can change the soul
Bulging disc back spasms knees give out
Numb feet neuropathy pain throughout

Forgetful, lost thoughts
The haves, and the have Nots
Memory once Sharp as a tack
Scatterbrain recollection now I lack

I understand why they call
Alzheimer
The long goodbye
Why, did I come into this room?
Frustrated can’t remember gloom looms

  Legs give out falter unexpected falls
Yelling, screaming, crying, deaf ear calls.
On the floor flat on my back
processing where I am at

Not completely aware
How I came to be there
Mental assessment first things first
Instant flood of pain burst

Anything broken bleeding bruised
Knot on the head, lose tooth, blood oozed
I rub emollients to soften and sooth
Aspercreme BenGay, which one to choose

Triage situation urgent versus emergency
Elderly fall risk develop a contingency
Scrapes cuts occasionally a broken wrist
Off kilter slipped twist landed on the fist
Unable to get up nobody around
Floundering helplessly on the ground,

Surgeries total replacement both knees
Unable to put pressure on both of these
Not as simple as it sounds,
To pick yourself up off the ground
I can roll over
Than what?

Scoot crawl wiggle on my backside
Down the hall iPhone the goal my guide
Traverse down a few stairs a slide cried
Instant pain runs down the spine
Pray every moment for strength I’ll be fine

Solution: need a chair to pull up on
Everybody gone for how long?
Quickly learn to fend for myself
Shoot, the iPhone up high on the 3rd shelf

A horrific thought resides
Creeping seeping an emotional tide
After a fall my friend died  
He hit his head on the kitchen granite table
Wounded bleeding Unconscious unstable

He could have lived the police surmise
Elderly incapacitated facts surprise
Investigation what happened evidence resides
Estimated  time on kitchen floor for three days
In and out of consciousness, craze haze

He bleed to death.
On the kitchen floor
His daughters will confess
Never able to talk to him ever more

Nobody came to visit. Not a single call
Loved ones should not die from a fall


A prominent man of well to do means
Living situation wasn’t what it seems
A celebrated man of stature
Tasked in war enemy capture
A battleship under his command
Near his end, he can hardly stand

father of two his children the man they never knew his adoptive family battleship cast and crew
Perhaps each were too busy with their own  
His death they will atone
So many elderly alone

All the lonely people were do they all belong

Inspired song

Eleanor Rigby
(All the lonely people) 1966
By the Beatles bulging disc

BLT Webster’s word of the day challenge
3-7-25 EMOLLIENT
AN EMOLLIENT IS SOMETHING SUCH AS A LOTION THAT SOFTENS AND SOOTHES
I am 64 and my husband is 77. We’re in a new phase of life and it’s not always pretty . My husband is falling all the time, he rolls over and falls out of bed. I had to put up a bed rail. He’s got all his faculties about him, but his numb feet makes him unsteady neuropathy. This is just a brief little picture of some of the elements we’re dealing with, but surely this is  a typical picture of the elderly today. We are now in the phase when our friends are dying I pray. today is a precious gift. sometimes I worry what tomorrow
Will bring. Is today our last normal day??. what will I need to do to survive when he ‘s gone?. Tomorrow is promised to no one live today to the fullest. It could be your last day.. the worry of the unknown I don’t let it take hold, but sometimes it gets the best of me.. death will come for us. All all we can do is smile when he comes to call..
MetaVerse Mar 5
There once was a man of Pangaea
Who had an unlucky idea:
     He ate a strange shroom
     And then laid in his tomb,
Having died from insane diarrhea.
I'm a somber soul,
My baby is sick at home.
I'm too far to walk,
I'm too young to drive.
Oh it's such a pity,
Lonely with the little lows of life.
My baby is sick at home,
But I've just gotta pocket,
All my strife to sickness.
It's a real shame
Snow red fox Feb 26
I’m banging my head thru the wall. That tic and click as my head tics back and forth just begging to be twisted it off.
Off like a switch of a twitch that is itchy that can’t be itched because it’s deep inside the clicks and ribs that can’t be ripped.
I’m living with the constant tremble of a broken twitching and shifting body that won’t stop clicking and picking until I can’t control an ick.
Tics ***** and is annoying. That’s all to it. This poem ain’t that deep
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