Oh how beautiful the devil is!
Piercing eyes that can lure
A nose sculpted to perfection
A smile that can fool

The devil holds such beauty
It is simply immaculate
Easily mistaken for a face of an angel

Oh what a sinful desire
To admire the devils beauty
And listen to the sweet lies

It has mastered the art of seduction
In one glimpse of its beauty
Mortals will be down on their knees
As they let lust blind them

I need a dream to remind
There is someplace I should go
Future I should think about
Lately I don't know

i. i will no longer see people for how they may benefit me

ii. i will no longer go out of my way to destroy the relationships that i cherish
a. for the exclusive purpose of revitalizing my opinion on another relationship far beyond repair

iii. i will no longer treat my old friends like ****

iv. i will no longer watch my grandmother wade through electric bills

v. i will slap myself, berate myself, render separate from myself my knuckles and wrist, anything so i can come to my senses and realize my current being
a. i will no longer "feel detached" or "depersonalized"
- i will no longer make excuses that i thus live off of

vi. i will no longer live through another person

vii. i will no longer seek to cut the horns ive grown since birth

how do i witness these seasons again,
without you, the one who changes them.

I find it odd that I'm similar to my bathroom sink
When the lights shine on, the reflection is dull
It'll try to catch everything, a strand of hair, be it brown or gold
But must follow an obligation, so god forbid pink
The hair piles up but the water needs to go down
A responsibility to do so it's forced to go down

I ask for help but told to rethink
When I go back to the drain, the hair becomes wool
"It's useless if it can't function, they oughta be given a scold!
With those worms in their head, they must be sick!
Insecurities, mistakes, failures, and more!"
Criticized even if they've just arrived at the shore

In the pool I think I see mon raison d'etre,
But out goes the hair,
It need to keep working,
Or else it's pushed aside like a crippled mare

Or so they say
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒊𝒕.
And so I ask
𝑼𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏?

Sometimes love and hate are hard to differentiate.
They both give me sensory overload,
Even when there is nothing to
touch
When there is nothing to
Hear.
Silence can turn into screaming when I think about you.
I am bound to go deaf.

I love being distracted.
It is the only bubble of feeling in which I can't focus on my imperfections.
It's the only time where I can forget about life's lemons, and forget that I have to labor to make lemonade out of them.
But from my living room, every 15 minutes I can hear the clock chime.
It reminds me that everything comes to an end.
In a way, this makes me feel good. It reminds me that eventually all of the work I have to do will be done. It reminds me that all of my worries will eventually conclude.
But it also reminds me that everything good ends. It reminds me that strong connections to other people could eventually break. It reminds me that I may have to see the day where pets and loved ones cease to exist.
It reminds me that one day I will cease to exist.

every night i get a visit from a loud knock on my bedroom door,
and a screeching voice that echoes through the walls,
with shadows and tracks of wreckage.

i have gotten used to fighting my own demons
but i grew tired after a long while,
my bones were fractured, my spirit, exhausted.

there used to be lullabies playing in the halls
of this place i called home, until i started feeling a knot in my stomach
each time i utter the word. home.

i have erased the memories written on the bricks,
and the sounds the floorboards make,
but they still reek of the ghosts i’ve been trying to escape.