can you find for me
a remedy
to ease this pain of separation?
it was supposed to have ended way earlier

Escape,
Into the peace;
Calmness,
I wish I had.

Lost control,
My mind betrays me,
Wonders off sore;
Sharp blades,
They approach me.

Though I do not want,
What I have lost;
The absence of pain;
I want to feel.

The kiss of a blade,
One that can heal,
So the pain,
*Shall fade.

Something's just fall right away, without your prior notice without any warnings. You stand there fazed,undoubtedly dubious and straining to comprehend what is happening around you. You are expected to react, to show rage, disappointment, frustration, anguish, anxiety anything. The person is waiting for you to listen to their version of explanation writhing with guilt and anticipation. You though are stricken by some uncanny force which had ****** all your senses and the world is spinning in an instant blur and for you only one thing is clear - that nothing is clear .
You dwell on memories then, trying to find any spare strand of memory which hints,points, accuses of a possible future like present. Anything to say that you weren't this ignorant, that somewhere you were warned.

at 12 and 37
you stumble through
a picture,
a picture of grief,
pain, sorrow, and death

at the same hour
they bumped into:
piles of joy, screams,
wild heart,
perfect timings

how are things possible?
in the blink of an eye,
it's there and then,
it's gone

you are broken,
you are healed,
you are relieved,
and you should be lucky.

I thought it was about to end
Just like a season that has passed by
Waiting for the perfect moment
Which I've lived countless times

I never hoped for a closing statement
Because I knew it was not existent
I hoped for it to just fade
Into a beautiful cascade

Then I saw you once again
Everything I've ever hoped for
Has gone and reset

I really wanted to forget
But I saw you
And remembered

A quarter of a crown
Lies in secret; without a sound
As drums keep up their beat
And steps go on, in spite of feet.

Deep beneath us it lies
Temptation, blessing sighs
As you turn and look at I
And I smile, as only inside
Our secrets they still play,
Breakable to the light of day,
Please turn and leave; just go
Did it happen if no one knows?

You are the 'North America' nebula
                       in all your splendor and colors
I am the remains of a supernova,
                        even NASA has long discarded,
exploded spectacularly-ancient Chinese recorded-
                         yet still alive, for you to admire!
wearily I view the star forming clouds
                         chomping through the cosmos,
enchanting still, I guess, I am, for a swirling landscape of stars
                         like you to profess your love;
I am overwhelmed, but this absurd drama
                         will eventually plunge us in to dark holes.
My darling, the cosmic dance has no rules;
                        pain in murky regions of star formation,
iridescent display of dead stars seeming to remain ever,
                        love, loss, collision, birth or rebirth
no apparent reason for anything, being and nothingness
           too are kaleidoscopic, just creations of auto suggestion.