My anger was righteous,
Deserved and harsh.
It poured your ichor
Onto paper.
Mingled words on
A hundred pages.
Only to set it ablaze
With blue flames
That took years
To do their job.
Now the coals smolder
In destruction
And wait,
Patiently

i am sick of writing about you all the time.
my thoughts of you and the words that i write are intertwined,
and trying to unravel your ghost from my memories feels nearly impossible.

you are tattooed on my heart,
and with each thump a new line is generated-

thump
the heartbreak you have left me in feels like a maze i cannot find my way out of

thump
do you still find me as beautiful as you once did?

thump
i know that in my eyes you have never lost your charm

but i am sick of writing about you all the time.
because i am sick of feeling like this.
feeling like the entirety of my existence is so fragile,
depending on you to make me feel as if it is actually worth something,
depending on you to continue to reciprocate the feelings i have shared with you
even though deep inside i know that you are tired too.
tired of the see-saw like motions of our relationship...
even though, in our ups we felt like the king & queen of the world,
in our downs you no longer saw the point;
no longer see the point in trying to mend something you claim to be eternally broken.

am i sick for still trying?
why do i still allow myself to break my own heart over you?
is it because i still see potential where you see debris?

our love went up in flames,
and i think that we both tried to save as much of ourselves as we could from the fire...
save so much of ourselves
that we forgot about each other.

You sweetened and unsweetened me with your lies

Spilled your dreams unto my heart

Painted a pretty picture that only I could see or at least I thought...

There is a fire with in me and it speaks to my soul...

Every time you open your mouth it's flames burn higher

Blazing a trail so deep with in me I feel like I'm loosing myself...

Maybe I will let it burn so I can rise from the ashes

Or maybe I will let it burn until it consumes me so I can be reborn

I rise like a Phoenix from the ashes

So when you open your mouth to butter me up with those sweet... sweet lies...

It turns to ash...

I am not convinced nor do I long to believe in the sweet nectar that falls from your beautiful lips

I was always told
That love was sparks and flames
Skies full of fireworks
That scream out their name

But love is much better
It’s an beautiful vast ocean
A beach where everything
Moves in slow motion

When you go to this beach
You are scared to get in the water
You are scared of jellyfish stinging
And ***** pinching harder

But once you get in
You never want to leave
You’re pulled in by the current
And there is a pure kind of peace

A peace that is joined
By a large crashing wave
It is chaos joining the peace
And they become one in the same

In love you find yourself drowning
And begging for air
But even as you suffocate
You want to stay there

You can’t give up this new feeling
It’s love that swallows you whole
It lures you with chaotic peace
Drowns you and takes your soul

Love is not fire works
It’s not sparks and it’s not flames
Love is not that simple
The ocean is not that tame