My first ever taste of love was for a girl with messy hair,
And a sweet, genuine smile-
A girl that I yearn for,
That I shared a redamancy with,
A girl I would give anything to get back to.
I fell for her as if the Earth had stopped its rotations,
And my knees couldn’t help but fail me;
And in turn, she too fell for me.
My first love was a girl with a laugh
That was as spectacular as the finale of a firework show,
And her eyes shown just as bright.
Dear God, they were beautiful-
She was beautiful.
Although she didn’t always believe it,
She smiled and thanked everyone who complimented her,
Because it made her love herself that much more.
My first love was a girl, and for that, we received quite a bit of hate.
We weren’t in a relationship per se,
But the society around us disapproved of our affections;
And at first, she didn’t care.
We didn’t care, but the stress seduced her, and she started
To bite off so much more than her precious self could stomach.
It overwhelmed her and pushed her away, and she took off on me,
A runaway bride fleeing the scene
That she had so carefully put together.
I still wait for her to return.
I’ve found new love, but I need her as well—
Without her, I’m never going to feel completely at ease.
I just miss her so much;
I miss her open mind, her voice, her optimism.
I miss her gorgeous hazel eyes that never stay the same shade,
The ones that portrayed her innocence like stained church windows.
I miss her smile, her laugh, the connection we had,
And I miss the girl she was before she let those around us
Poison that beautiful mind of hers.
I hate that I took her for granted.
I hate that I let her slip right between my fingers,
Hot sand slipping out of my shaking hands and burning me in the process. I feel her everywhere- I see her in the innocence of children.
I hear her voice in every early 2000s song she used to adore.
I see her in every picture from her childhood I catch a glimpse of.
I see her in every pair of blue jeans that I own; she haunts me.
I see her in every window I see that reflects back at myself.
I see her in every passing mirror, see who she is now,
And occasionally I catch a glimpse of her innocence in my eye once again. My first love was a girl, a girl with messy hair and hazel eyes-
A girl who, at one point, shared my name and face.
Ever since she left, I haven’t looked the same;
I haven’t been the same.
Before I let anxiety take her place,
Her charm was impeccable and even I loved her.
Once upon a time, I loved a girl who shared a body with me-
I loved myself, not in a self-centered way, but in a humble, lovely way.
I wait for the girl that I was before I fell apart every day.
I wait for her and I keep my heart under the highest security;
I keep my smile intact, just in case she’ll come back,
To make the curve of my lips completely genuine once again.

As the sun rises and he awakes she wonders if he sees his light
The light that is so easy to pass by
but if you're lucky enough to see it'll make you think you can fly
his light that still  lingers within despite all of his trials and struggles
she wonders how it can be with all of the things in life he juggles
the light itself gives her such a sense of who he is
it's a hidden message beyond what he says
it twinkles when he helps someone in need
it appears when he's proud of something that he has achieved
it's there when he looks at her with love and admiration
it's unique to him alone and gives off the most joyful sensation
His light is her stars and moon when she's stuck in the night.

Not
Only
Is it
Sound, but
Emotion too...

Those are the times
Where mornings seems shorter
And the nights seems longer
Those are the moments
Where you lay in bed
With nothing but thoughts
Thoughts in your head
Feelings in your heart
Sometimes even just wondering
Why everything fell apart?
Sometimes you’ll just feel empty
You’ll just feel tired
You’ll feel like being happy
Was a facade you always lied
Sometimes you’re just there
Laying in bed
No thoughts in your head
Sleepiness wasn’t knocking on your door
Seeing times passes by more and more
You lay there with your eyes blinking
Staring at the ceiling, thinking
“Why is this happening to me?”
“What was happening?”
“What’s wrong with me now?”
“What changed?”
“Where did I go wrong?”
You start to retrace your memories
From the very beginning
You start to think back about those times
Even some bad endings
That’s where the tears starts coming
That’s where your eyes starts blurring
You didn’t know what was happening to you
You didn’t know if the sadness you felt was true
Was it the sadness you kept for so long?
Or was it just because you were tired of being strong?
You didn’t know
But you laid there
Crying
Sobbing
Whimpering
Sniffling
Just letting out your emotions with this cry
Without even knowing why
But as you finish crying
You started thinking
Now you’re staring
Not knowing what you were looking
But you felt empty once again
And the cycle starts over again
Until sleep
Finally comes to you
Your eyes now feel heavy
Your mind feels light too
But you know that was already too late
You accepted your fate
Sleep was always came slow
So now it was morning again
And the night became another

Sleepless night

She sits there
With flaws on her body
She sits there
Hair on her legs making a little garden of roses
She sits there
Volcanoes on her face
Looking like they are about to erupt
Yet she manages to maintain balance and equality inside
Well sometimes
She sits there
Carelessly
Yet still with care for the world and everyone, everything, in it
She sits there
Still
With a tornado spinning the thoughts in her head
Making her deal with it because clicking ruby red heals doesn't make the problems go away
She sits there
Clutching the cross around her neck
Mumbling prayers
A cloud releasing small raindrops
She sits there
Being an ally,
A friend,
The person that listens when no one else does,
She waits for you to tie your shoe while everyone else walks away.
But she is also the one left behind on the sidewalk
She still sits there
Knowing how others treat her
But not letting that reflect negatively on how she treats others
She sits there
And look at that,
With a smile on her face,
She continues to grow,
Nothing prohibits her from moving forward,
She is unstoppable,
She is beautiful,
She is grace,
She is laughter,
She is sunshine,
She is light,
The light that awakens the dark,
The light that makes the moon shine,
She is everything and more.
She sits there
Being radiant
Being herself
She sits there
Knowing who she wants to be and what it takes to get there
She sits there
Patiently
She sits there
Being me
I am
Sitting there