Perhaps many of us don't realize
  That life
Harbors secrets and lessons around every corner
  But also harbors many disappointments
Each lie spewed like venom is poison to the tongue
  But each accomplishment is sweet upon the lips
Many moments are wasted and taken for granted
  But that's not true for some
Eventually the human race will understand
  That life is just about
Fairy tales and make believe or misery and agony
  It's a bittersweet mixture of both
With dashes of hope and pinches of despair
  It's a perfect recipe
For honesty and for dares

it wasn't the way that she said goodbye,
the way she
gently departed,
leaving no stone unturned.

it wasn't the way that she
did her part,
staying behind a bit longer
to make sure no lovers
were left unjust.

it wasn't the way that she wished all those well,
fixating them always
within her heart's reach.

it was the way she cared;
for she spoke with her heart
and she moved
with an aura of awareness
in every step.

it was the way she appreciated
all that was given to her,
years after
it was thought to have been detached.

it wasn't the way that she said goodbye,
but the way that her actions
ached,
"hello".

I dress like a school boy. Plaid collars clashed with sweaters and stiff jeans that are skin tight. I paint stars on my cheeks because i am one with the sky, one with the world above me, a part of this universe. I wear crooked eyeliner to match the fierceness in my eyes.  But nothing i do seems to mix. I am the human truth, that part of reality the world does not want you to see. I am not plain or irregular, i am blank. My hair is blue but it does not stand out against the greys and the black. My bedroom sheets are red stained with white and the walls are sticky like rain. They close in around the empty spaces, threatening the oxygen filling the room. Its not always this hard to breathe, but when it is I feel alone. I feel every breath escape my body and form clouds in the sky that turn into snow. The snow falls into piles around the ground, where people shiver and catch colds. It is made into snowmen, and dressed better than the people dress themselves.
Then they melt. They melt like the fire in your eyes on a stormy night. They melt like the lives who were never meant to be lived and they melt like the tears trickling down your chin. They melt like the silence left after you're dead and gone, and when there's nothing left to say. Then the water runs in your veins and pools in your heart. It stains my hands and knees, and all the places I pray at night, hoping someone out there will hear me. And as I stand up and dust off my skin tight jeans and salty skin, I push off my scratchy sweater that i have hated to wear and look at myself in the mirror. I ask "What am i? Who am I? And why the hell am I here?" And the answer is never to be found, like the stars in your eyes,  like the stars in the snow.

Butterflies in my stomach,
I'm pulling out my hair
But what makes me really care?
Those crystal *****,
Staring back me,
I wish I had empathy.
Your grace, your figure,
It makes me shiver,
Your mind, your face,
The things you can not simply replace.
Sentiment, love, Cupid himself,
You're better than all the books on my shelf.
My cold sheets,
You certainly must have many feats,
Where is that heat,
That warm glow you have?
I seem like a jotün,
Ugly, cold, hated.
You must be the sun,
Enamoured, you must be fun.
Those marks on your flawless skin,
Like raindrops, that one little star.
Those silky locks you can see from afar.
You must be made out of marble,
Praised by the ancient Greeks.
Is this love?
Has sentiment appeared?
Oh your intelligence,
Look at all your diligence.
You push people away with your lovely words.
My creativity is faded,
My mind is barricaded.
I can't describe it.
But this why I care.

Drown me in the ocean that is your mind
And I will learn to breathe
Under pressure
Show me that
Which you desire to hide
So that I may know
Who you are inside

Burn me in the fire that is your love
And I will learn to fight
For you, for me, for what's to be
Show me that
Which you desire to feel
So that I may know
That this is real

Bury me in the ground that is your faith
And I will learn to grow
Suffocate me with your wants, hopes, and expectations
Have faith that I will reach them, above and below
Show me that which you desire to have
So that I may know
And can be your other half--I'll give you all I have

Throw me through the skies that is your life
And I will learn to soar
High altitudes, high hopes, huge dreams
Show me that
Which you desire to be
So that I may know
You're lovely, crazy you
I'm quirky, crazy me
But we could be a brilliant, crazy "we"

We are the best kind of desire.

The sadness,
The fears,
The upset,
The Tears.

The feelings start,
The darkness nears,
The loneliness approaches,
Here come The Tears.

I feel alone,
Nothing is clear,
On my own,
Stuck with The Tears.

The Tears of pain,
The Tears of shame,
The Tears of guilt,
The Tears of blame.

It's just me, me and The Tears.

An icy night falling,
But I don’t mind
The prevailing wind
Against the pitch-black darkness
Engulfing me
I’ve seen how cruel life could be
The smoke out the chimneys
Mocking me
Their warmth taunting me
Holding my breath
Waiting for death
The darkness like the fruit of the poisonous tree
When the warmth reaches for me
His hands like silk nuzzle me
Cuddle me
Taking me into the warmth
His breathe chilly and calming
I’m sobbing
Next thing I know it’s morning
I found my Prince Charming.

My sick little dog
Wiggles and bothers
Let's go out, out, out!

I take random pictures
Brooding.
What would I miss?

She sets the pace
Sniff, pause, backtrack
Dance.

A breeze plays with strands
Of a weeping willow.
A million hidden smells.

Today
For both of us
It is enough.

-ALA

March 21, 2016

you are lightning and every step
you take towards me or every
word you say to me sends electric
waves throughout me

even when I meet
your stolen glances at me
the waves hit crashing and bashing
unable to be tamed long after you look or walk away

scientifically speaking, lightning is
supposed to hurt, its supposed to
leave a path of destruction and leave
an amount of wreckage that nobody
saw coming but you, you clean
up the wreckage that I make of
myself you don't hurt, you heal

you are lightning like they have
never seen before, you are a miracle
and I just hope that one day
I can do the same for you because
you and I both know that your spark
will burn out and will need to be
ignited again