I am waiting on an angel.
I’ve paced around in wait
and feel no closer to when I first started
pacing.
no call, no signs of anything that smells like perfume.
she promised she'd be here.
maybe she's stuck in traffic,
or maybe she's the kind of angel
that doesn’t keep promises.

the last time I prayed I asked for a roof
over my head.
it took a while. it took an awfully long time.
my hands were shaking.
just when I was about to give up.
I got my house.
I have that same feeling.
god knows that I am waiting,
no matter how bad my hands are shaking.

still, I wait.
I don’t know how wings feel against skin,
or how soft they are,
but somehow, I believe she is near.
if she is not.
I do believe that something beautiful is possible.
even if angels have a sense of humor

i.
I walk through the streets
of old Spandau
under a sky of slate and zinc
that lets loose its sleet
and drops of pale ink,
filled with burdened clouds
weary from hurrying onward
out of the iron east.

ii.
A church tower stands sentinel
watching over the people fleeing past
on cobbled streets paved with fate.

iii.
Once, to doubt was to believe
as Thomas, bereaved,
called out in awe
My Lord and my God.
Today there’s just doubts,
faith is fleeting as clouds.

iv.
The tower waits,
outwardly strong,
yet forlorn and alone,
abandoned by the faithful
as the sacred slips away.
It watches and waits
in hollow hope of a time
when its hallowed purpose
might yet be whole again.

Dreaming in colour; but I can't help thinking
in black and white — the anxieties that weigh heavily
on my plate, it's no wonder I occasionally savour
their bitter taste. Why should I rely solely on fate,
when it starts to feel a bit devoid of faith?

And some might argue I let them down, but
what if that low point was my decision to elevate
others — would you still have faith in me, or is
it simply your own fate that keeps me anchored
in this low place?

I'm a Believer.
A by-faith walker.
One foot placed
in front of the other.
A member of the worldwide
inter-generational ancestral
family of Believers.
Proudly considered
to be God-botherers
on account of us being
persistent in prayer
on all ocassions.

I'm a Believer.
I'm a disciple-maker.
I'm a get-fully-wet baptiser.
I'm a church planter.
I'm an "in spirit and in truth"
God-of-Jacob worshiper.
A not bow to caesar.
A faith keeper.
A some-might-call-me dreamer.
A vision se-er.

A full-armour take-a-stand-er.
A full alert perseverer.
A last to leave-er
when things get tougher.
An endure-er of oppressors.
A refuser to fear.
A hunger-er and thirster.
A kingdom builder.

I'm a Believer.
A seeker of truth.
A keeper of peace.
I'm with my brothers and sisters,
followers of Jesus,
who for the joy set before him
pioneered blood, sweat and tears
with a faithful to the very end
belief in the Father,
raised full of life, and ascended,
to be our heavenly interceder.

I'm a blessed Believer
in Jesus, our Messiah.,
He is my Lord and Saviour.
Amen.

Heavy prayers that fall on deaf ears
Day dreams that my worries all disappear.
In a dark space and I cannot see the light
At the end of a tunnel full of fears that won’t subside.

I beg and plead, “Lord, please bring me change”.
I beg and plead, “Lord, please help me through all the pain.”
But God don’t answer, and he leaves my heart wide open
I expect nothing, but ****** I was hoping…

You call me to step out on the ledge
"I will catch you, I'll make good on my pledge"
And Lord I trust you, but I'm filled with fear
'Cause I can't see you even though I know you're near
Come to the edge and be not unbelieving, but believe
So, slowly I approach the edge of the unknown
You push me and, into the air, I find myself thrown
Expecting to fall, expecting to die
Surprised to find that, instead, I fly!
It takes faith to walk upon the waters of the ocean
It takes faith to learn that kind of deep devotion
It takes faith to trust when the senses fail
And faith that, through it all, life and love prevail
It takes faith when we step across that line
That He will lift us up and all will be fine
It takes faith, it takes patience, it takes love
But we will rise up on wings like eagles and learn to fly above

Lord, you call us to the edge and ask us to jump. We can't always see you. Help us to trust and have faith that you are always there and will never let us down. Fear often holds us back from reaching our full potential and some fear is healthy. It helps keep us safe and out of danger, but sometimes we need a little push. You know just what we need Lord and when. Push us just a little, help us have that faith, and trust (and just a little bit of pixie dust?), take that leap of faith and learn to fly! we ask this and all things in the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen