I wake up to blue light
I see it when I close my eyes

frustrated and weighted by comparison
I filter my intensity
condense my personality
I show tongue and teeth but no failures or flaws

I see you in your squares, in all your glow
I want to see the dirt under your fingernails
want you to see me cry, my pores up close, counting your eyelashes
I don't want to see twenty pictures res of the same sunset
cascading down a feed that never fulfills
shades changed and tweaked at exposure
I am exposed ever day
but am I known
I want to see the world by your side
not through your phone
hear the sunsets reflect in your tone

I don't want to lose a bet with myself that I don't stare I don't scroll
lose my evening to a screen
my life to anxiety of how people see me
but I want to be seen

I want to know you beyond squares
and validation screams content for moments till I review my content
view myself in the eyes of another
a narcissistic shudder
I doubt and judge myself
wishing not to compare not to care
yet impulse is too lovable
addiction and algorithmic luring
habits savaged a daily instinct
to share
to show my life through squares

A questionable cause,
conformed in my mind
Poisoned solutions
And pollution behind my eyes
Behind those eyes
I used to know
What I was like

A scratch to see what's underneath
A familiar smell
Of bleak recollections

Wish life repeated level headed

The devil's armada
Subliminal poison

Who you used to be
Is between the cracks
In the cushions of your mind,
And at night when you need it
Reach down underneath it

Grab her hand and dig her out
She asking you how things turned out.

Who we used to be,
What we used to know
And see
Is a lesson for who you need to be.

Don't be afraid to ask,
Who you thought you lost.

So I understand that
It’s good to release,
to flush away the bad ****,
the toxins and the chemicals.
But every now and then
I like to tease it, trace the outline of the rose until it’s spread it’s petals, then stop.
Let it die down, slowly, gently.
It’s a way of controlling the
Little things, the right gaps to fill.
Manipulating those who expect
the usual.

-Kaitlyn A. Warnken

'I try hard to block myself from sadness but it breaks free and gets to me.
The Bad things are shot at me like bullets and
With Me being the target, the hits make me sink so deep.
Sometimes as to were i don't think i could live to see another day.
While the world keeps revolving, i wish to keep myself from evolving this way.
So No matter what or how hard you say it, we both know things are never going to be okay.'