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A A Oct 2021
Sunlight beats in through the window
offensive and obscene.
I wonder what ungodly sound just awoke me,
was it only the alarm, or
was it the deafening sound of my conscious
that so disturbed me?
Upon waking, one has to ignore the weight of existence
Or drown in it's wake.
Sleep, running away from me, abandoning me,
Has led me here to this moment.
Rising out of bed, reborn from the night,
for the millionth time, and still
always questioning everything.
"What has my life brought me to,
that I must continue to wake for it,
and why is it more worthy than sleep?
Is participation in life truly necessary?
Why does each day bring with it the same
repetition I've always known?"
Sun rays never speak, never answer
The questions that morning brings.
Ceyhun Mahi Oct 2021
For long I was not certain of my name.
This anxious soul of mine I could not claim.
Since birth, from form to form my frame has changed,
But still, I always have been just the same.
So...you want to know yourself?
Listen then to everything else but what you think is you,
Especially to the silent interactions;
You are but the summation of your external influence,
your internal world is the reflection of the outer.
Or is it the obverse of that?
But if you want to know the real non-you:
There exists this black hole at the centre of your universe
Get ****** into it and know that you never really existed, externally.
Made up non-you.
Sandman Aug 2021
The world contained within itself
Dragging along slower than time
How did we get here

A world beyond reason
Where the sinners are free
And the innocent in chains

These wicked wastelands
Run thick with blood
And endless suffering

Enveloping
The forests and skies
The creeks and rivers
Into shadows that speak our universal silence

All the smiles captured on film
Playing backwards until
There is nothing but an empty feeling

Of weighted loneliness
That burrows deep
Into my heart
First time posting in a long time! Miss writing poems :)
dorian green Jul 2021
sunsets ripple across southern skies
like skipping stones across a pond.
i'm thinking about how we all die.
what will nothing feel like?
what did it feel like before?
i catch myself guessing -
the void and cold conjurings of a
scared temporary consciousness.
loneliness beckons and repulses me
in equal measures, existential inquiries
painting me into nihilistic corners.
is this just some brief gift?
i hem and haw and waste the light,
i become the universe i fear,
endlessly eating my thoughts,
embodying entropy as i gasp for air.
nim Jul 2021
in my eyes there was a hope, lit and far away,
a dream, waiting, for when things would end.
but as it comes closer, and as days go by,
my vision gets blurry, and my perspective gets lost.
no more am i merry to meet my foe,
nor do those thoughts keep me company.
a wicked ending, lurking on me,
a dead end and the black void are waiting on me.
it's hard to imagine and even harder to say,
the fear i feel deep in the night,
when not even the stars are awake.
but, come the morning and i rise,
the thoughts are gone, i'm fine again.
the loverboy sun spreads his smile
across the sky, it's on the roofs, i think it hits my soul too.
no more am i odd, no more do i cry,
but when the sky falls down, i collapse again.
i wish i could stay as brave as when i'm with the sun,
yet the nightmare never seems to end,
because it only has
one possible end.
nim Apr 2021
i write empty words
with a lot of emotions in me;
hidden meaning only i see.
it's the only place where i can hide
from the slick voice that
makes me leave others behind.
the voice, it says
it's just my nature
but i'm not so sure,
though it can feel like home;
i'm not so sure,
i want to hurt anymore.
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